PMT DB
PMT DB
Frank Caliendo, Week 13 Preview, and the MLB Lockout Explained
The Cowboys took down the Saints on Thursday Night Football in a game that mostly served as a three-hour proof of why Sean Payton hasn't made Taysom Hill the full-time guy until now. While Taysom was out there playing with a splint on his finger like he just jammed it in a middle school gym class, the Saints' offense looked completely stagnant. PFT and Big Cat aren't exactly buying the hype on the Swiss Army Knife quarterback anymore.
PFT CommenterTaysom Hill is probably not the Saints' quarterback of the future
Yeah, Taysom Hill probably not, probably not the quarterback of the future, but he's still, I still like Taysom.
With Alvin Kamara out and Michael Thomas basically MIA for the year, the Saints are officially entering the danger zone. Big Cat thinks the writing is on the wall for New Orleans.
Big CatThe Saints' season is officially over
I think [the Saints'] season is officially over just because we've... they've kind of kept in a lot of these games, even though they haven't [won]. But that Taysom Hill is just the whole entire offense. [Alvin] Kamara not being there, Michael Thomas just retiring early... the whole thing just feels like it's falling apart.
Despite the offensive clunkiness, the real story in Dallas is Micah Parsons. The guy is essentially a created player from Madden come to life. Big Cat officially declared that Trevon Diggs has been dethroned as the best defender on that team because Parsons is putting up historic rookie numbers while playing three different positions at once.
Big CatMicah Parsons is now the best defensive player on the Cowboys, surpassing Trevon Diggs
[Trevon Diggs] is now no longer the best defensive player on the Cowboys. Micah Parsons is insane. Yeah. I saw a stat that Micah Parsons, he's already surpassed all of Chase Young's defensive rookie of the year stats and we still have five games left.
The New Southerner and MLB Labor Experts
College football coaching carousels are getting weird. Brian Kelly has officially traded in the South Bend winters for a fake southern accent and LSU purple. Big Cat is obsessed with how quickly these coaches shed their entire identities the second a check for $100 million clears, comparing Kelly to a serial killer who just absorbs his surroundings.
Big CatBrian Kelly is officially a Southerner now and Lincoln Riley is a 'Cali bro.'
The other news is Brian Kelly's now a southerner. No one asked any questions... I love it. Like Lincoln Riley is now a Cali bro. 'What's up dude?' Yeah. Like they just take the lives of other people. It's like that Ethan Hawke movie, 'Taking Lives,' where he's a serial killer and he just takes the lives of other human beings. Brian Kelly is a sponge; he absorbs whatever culture you put him in.
In a rare moment of journalistic integrity, everyone in the office was assigned to read exactly one article about the MLB lockout so they could become legal experts. Big Cat decided to side with the billionaires because Rob Manfred used the magic words "bad for business."
Big CatRob Manfred understands the MLB lockout is bad for business
Rob Manfred said, we understand it's bad for the business. So I'm going to probably take Rob Manfred's side because he said it right there in the article... that he understands this is bad for business.
PFT brought a more strategic angle to the lockout news, explaining why the timing of the work stoppage is actually a calculated move to save the 2022 season before it even starts.
PFT CommenterThe MLB is starting the lockout now specifically so it doesn't impact Opening Day.
They're doing the lockout now because if they waited any longer to do it, then it would impact opening day. So they're doing today what I would just push off till much later and then suffer the repercussions because we would miss games.
NFL Week 13 Preview and Picks
The Week 13 slate is a bit of a weird one, but PFT is feeling bold about the winless Detroit Lions finally getting off the schnitzel. He's so confident he's putting his imaginary money where his mouth is for a matchup against the Vikings.
PFT CommenterThe Lions will beat the Vikings moneyline this week
I want the Lions to win, but I'm not... I would not touch them with actual money. Nope... I'll take them Moneyline.
Meanwhile, Billy Football is ready to fade the Washington Football Team. He thinks the luck that carried them through a three-game win streak is about to hit a brick wall against the Raiders.
Billy FootballWashington's lucky streak is going to run out against the Raiders
Raiders by two and a half... Well, I think, you know, Washington's, time's gonna run out... time's up. You've been kind of getting lucky.
Big Cat has a very specific, very disgusting premonition for the Chargers and Bengals game. After looking at the numbers and the potential rain, he's smelling a rare NFL stalemate.
Big CatChargers vs. Bengals will end in a tie
You know what this guy makes me think of right here? This game absolutely makes me think. Tie. Yeah. I predict a tie... My numbers are telling me this is going to be a tie this week.
Frank Caliendo in Studio
Frank Caliendo joined the show to talk about the transition of his act now that John Gruden has been exiled from the league and John Madden is getting a new documentary. While he's known for the voices, Frank revealed he has a secret identity as a legitimate ping pong shark. He travels with a professional-grade paddle just in case someone needs to get humiliated on the table.
Frank CaliendoI am a ping pong shark who carries a $250 paddle just in case a game breaks out.
I used to get off a plane and go play in a ping pong tournament... Not Olympic level, but probably... I brought my paddle. It's a lot like Roy Hobbs in 'The Natural' carrying a trombone case. I carry it just in case a ping pong game breaks out and you never know what's going to happen... $250 paddles.
Frank proved he wasn't lying by absolutely dismantling Jake Marsh in a match right after the interview. It turns out being the best in the office doesn't mean much when you're playing against a guy who treats ping pong like a blood sport.
Fyre Fest of the Week
Hank is facing a potential crisis involving duct tape and a wall if he can't secure a Warzone win before the new season drops. It's a high-stakes gambling situation where the only currency is physical embarrassment.
HankI will get a Warzone win before the new season or I'll get duct-taped to a wall
A month and a half ago I was playing War Zone... I was like I'll get a win before the new season comes out, which is next Monday or Tuesday... if I don't you'll get duct tape to wall. I was like absolutely. There's no doubt in my mind I'll get that win. No problem at all.
To top it off, PFT is entering a dark period of responsibility. He’s officially reached his gambling limit for the month, meaning he has to watch an entire Sunday of NFL action without a single live bet. It’s a brave, sober journey that surely won't be ruined by a $46 parlay.
PFT CommenterI am going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on anything
I got like a little bit of bad news... I'm going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on any of them. So I have responsibly reached the end of my allocated fund for myself that I had through November.
Hopefully, the Lions win so PFT can at least feel something on Sunday.
