PMT DB
PMT DB
Mike Tyson on Pet Tigers, Mayweather/McGregor, and Ear Tastes
We are officially in the late July sports dead zone, which means Michael Phelps is racing CGI sharks and Jordan Spieth is essentially filibustering the British Open. While Phelps was busy getting cucked by a computer-generated Great White, the real drama was unfolding in the NBA. Kyrie Irving finally decided he was tired of being the Robin to LeBron's Batman and requested a trade, a move Big Cat thinks is the ultimate power play against the King.
Big CatKyrie Irving is requesting a trade to control his own destiny like LeBron James
I love it because [Kyrie Irving]'s basically pulling LeBron in LeBron's face. He's like, I want to control my own destiny just like you have. ... Kyrie's like, yeah, I don't want to stick around for you to leave next year and fuck me over.
PFT and Big Cat wasted no time getting into the "sources" game, reporting that a deal to the Knicks is basically imminent. Whether it's for Kristaps Porzingis, Carmelo Anthony, or some combination of those guys, the rumor mill is spinning. PFT even suggested that Kyrie asking for a move in the first place is a self-admission that he’s not the alpha he wants to be.
PFT CommenterKyrie Irving requesting a trade proves he is a 'beta' player
So Kyrie, not an alpha, right? ... Well, there you go. So that means he's not an alpha. Current beta. He's currently robbing LeBron James Batman. He's self-admitting that he's a beta. ... By asking for a trade, you're telling on yourself that you've been a beta for the last five years.
The Champ Is Here
Iron Mike Tyson joined the show and immediately proved why he’s one of the most fascinating humans on earth. Between talking about his new podcast "Bite the Mic" and his book "Iron Ambition," Mike reflected on his life with Cus D'Amato and his legendary pet tigers. He confirmed that he used to sleep with the tigers every night and even took them on road trips in an 18-wheeler. When the conversation turned to the upcoming Mayweather-McGregor bout, the Champ didn't hold back on the Irishman's chances.
Mike TysonConor McGregor is going to get 'killed' in a boxing match against Floyd Mayweather
[McGregor]'s going to get kicked. He's going to get killed. ... [McGregor] put his dumb ass in a position where he's going to get knocked out because [Mayweather]'s been doing this all his life.
Mike explained that McGregor essentially signed "sucker rules" by agreeing to a straight boxing match. According to the Baddest Man on the Planet, the only way Conor stays competitive is if he can use his full arsenal of limbs.
Mike TysonMcGregor only stands a chance against Mayweather if he can kick and use knees
McGregor have to be able to kick. ... He has to be able to kick and use his knees. ... [Otherwise] he's not going to stand much of a chance.
The interview took a turn for the weirdly specific when PFT asked what ears actually taste like. Mike’s professional assessment? "It tastes like ass." He also weighed in on Big Cat’s long-standing theory that he could take a full-strength punch from Floyd Mayweather without going down.
Big CatI could take a full-strength punch from Floyd Mayweather without getting knocked out
Floyd Mayweather, he doesn't knock people out. He's got soft hands. ... [I] could take a full wind-up punch from Floyd Mayweather and not get knocked out.
Who's Back and Mount Rushmore
Who's Back of the Week featured some heavy hitters, including Nick Cage resurfacing in Kazakhstan and the inevitable return of Ole Miss sucking at football. Big Cat is convinced that without the ability to cheat, the Rebels are headed back to the basement of the SEC.
Big CatOle Miss will return to sucking at football now that they can't cheat under Hugh Freeze
Hugh Freeze is out, and it looks like Ole Miss is going to have to start playing it above the board here. No more cheating. So they're going to suck at football again.
PFT also brought back vasectomies, specifically the "brosectomy" trend where guys get the procedure done together to maximize their couch time and beer intake. He’s already pitching it as the greatest weapon in the dating arsenal.
PFT CommenterTelling a woman you've had a vasectomy is the ultimate pickup line
I can't think of a better pickup line, actually, than telling a woman, I'm physically incapable of getting you pregnant. ... That would get the panties dropped immediately. ... I might just lie and say I've got a vasectomy.
For the Mount Rushmore of wedding activities, the guys covered the essentials: sneaking booze, making small talk about your job, and Big Cat’s personal favorite, hovering by the door where the appetizers come out. There is no greater wedding strategy than intercepting every tray of bacon-wrapped dates before they hit the general population.
Trouble in Paradise and Billy’s Facts
The Seahawks locker room is back in the news for all the wrong reasons. Reports of Richard Sherman cussing out Russell Wilson at practice have resurfaced, and PFT is convinced the vibe in Seattle is beyond repair.
PFT CommenterThe Seahawks locker room hates Russell Wilson
The Seahawks all hate Russell Wilson. ... It's the worst kept secret in football. If you go back two years ago when they were really, really good and people were saying that the Seahawks' defense doesn't respect him because he's not black enough, at that point you're like, okay, this is a really screwed up locker room.
Finally, we saw the debut of "Fun Facts with Billy Football." Billy came out of the gates hot with some questionable biology and geography. While his theory on rabbits and electricity was debunked by a quick Google search during the segment, his deep knowledge of the Australian feral camel trade left everyone stunned.
Billy FootballThere are more wild camels in Australia than in the Middle East
There are more feral camels in Australia than the Middle East. ... In Dubai, they buy their camels from Australia. They import them.
If you're looking for a pet camel, apparently Dubai is importing them from the Outback, and Billy is the only one who knows why.
Don't be a pussy, go buy Mike Tyson's book.
