NFL Week 1, Recap Of Every Game, Fastest 2 Minutes, Plus Deion Sanders

The Rams are going to be very good this year

I think the Rams are going to be pretty good this year... the Rams, they look great in the uniforms. I love those helmets.

The Cowboys are destined to be the world's best 8-8 team every single year

I think that I'm numb to the Cowboys because they're just destined to be the world's best 8-8 team every single year... sometimes they'll make the playoffs going 8-8 and then they will be like, well, maybe this is the actual time they put it together, but I think that this is classic Cowboys.

Russell Wilson should be the MVP

I'm calling it right now, Russell Wilson, I don't care what he does for the rest of year, he gets the MVP.

Sam Darnold is not a franchise quarterback and Josh Allen is much better

Twitter kills Josh Allen and yet they think Sam Darnold is some prospect... how can you say Josh Allen is holding his team back and also be like Sam Darnold's going to be a franchise quarterback. Just you wait... I just don't see it with Sam Darnold.

The Bears are all the way back

Bears, Lions, the Bears are all the way back kind of... I'm not going to go crazy. Well, fantasy stud Mitchell Trubisky... he was three touchdowns zero interceptions... next week I'm legitimately excited to watch the Bears again.

Aaron Rodgers is going on a 'fuck you tour' this year

I think he's going on the fuck you tour this year. It pretty much couldn't have worked out better for Aaron Rodgers today... Aaron Rodgers is pissed off. So I was really hoping, Aaron's the year that he... Karen's got those two moods, disengaged and then mad at everyone. And he seems to be in mad at everyone mood.

The Lakers will lose every Game 1 and then gentleman sweep their way to a title

I have a prediction... I think the Lakers might go through the entire playoffs losing the first game and then gentleman sweeping. We got a bet on them against the Clippers game one.

The Patriots are Super Bowl contenders with Cam Newton

Patriots are really, really good or the Dolphins suck. I think the Patriots are as good as they ever were. I think they're Super Bowl contenders. No reason why they won't win like between 11 and 14 games. AFC Championship, Super Bowl contenders barring injuries.

Kyler Murray is the real deal

Next week will be a real test against the Cardinals and Kyler Murray who I'm now a full believer. I'm done. I'm officially on the Kyler Murray hype train.

The Panthers will be a scrappy underdog in every game this year

I'm circling the Panthers as my Scrappy Underdog. They're going to be in every game team because Joe Brady's an awesome coach... and Teddy Bridgewater is not going to lose you games.

This is the 'make or break' season for Derek Carr

This is it for Derek Carr. This is it. This is the best situation because you know how we oftentimes do it with quarterbacks... if you could have everything right? I feel like this is just about as right as you can get.

The Ravens are the second best team in the AFC

The Ravens are really, really fucking good. I'll say they're the best team not named the Chiefs in the AFC. That's very, very clear.

Tom Brady looks old and slow in the Buccaneers offense

How do you think your boy Tom Brady looked? He looks pretty old. It's the truth... he looked pretty old today. It actually proved that Tom's Drew Brees-ing it. I am officially [saying] Taysom Hill is the better quarterback there.

The Bills will win the AFC East

I love the Bills. I told you I loved the Bills. I love what they bring to the table. I really think they're going to win that division.

Tesla for Tables: A self-leveling table technology

Tesla for tables... the table itself feels the surface around it and then adjusts so that there's never any wobble... every restaurant I go to has a set of wobbly table. All those tables wobble.