PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Week 4 had everything: a Patriots win that sent Hank into Win-Tober, the Eagles discovering new and exciting ways to ruin Max's Sunday, Bryce Young throwing the Panthers into the national conversation, and enough penalties to make every drive feel like a group project with the NFL officiating crew. Fastest Two Minutes got the day started, then PMT spent nearly three hours sorting through the wreckage.
Hank Is Back on the Maye Train
The Patriots beat the Bills 29-26, which is apparently all Hank needed to go from season-long dread to full spiritual rebirth. Drake Maye led the winning drive, Ton'Chisholm made the one-handed touchdown catch, and Hank immediately declared the Patriots' season alive. The Bills, meanwhile, have a defense that cannot get off the field and Josh Allen throwing hero balls when all Buffalo needed was a few yards and a field goal attempt.
HankDrake Maye is all the way back
Drake Maye back. Back all the way back. Fully back. Yeah. Win-Tober's on. Win-Tober.
Big Cat's read was less about one win and more about the Patriots finally looking like they have an actual offensive plan. PFT pointed out that New England suddenly used motion at a massive rate, which is apparently what happens when the coaching staff discovers a feature that has been sitting in the settings menu for three years.
Daniel Jones, Meet the Do-Do Scale
The London game started with Marcus Mariota looking surprisingly alive and ended with Daniel Jones turning the ball over while Big Cat wondered if Roger Goodell might finally cancel the entire London experiment. The Commanders lost Mariota, put in seventh-round rookie Ahanotou Ihyama, and somehow made the backup quarterback the most fun part of the afternoon.
Big CatDaniel Jones is a do-do quarterback
He's just a do-do quarterback.
PFT still found reasons not to give up on Washington, mostly because the defense looked competent for stretches and Jayden Daniels might return next week. The Colts, now back at .500, remain a Daniel Jones trust exercise nobody asked to participate in.
The Jaguars Are Getting Dangerous
Jacksonville beat Cincinnati in a 24-penalty mud fight, but the result was far more impressive than the final score. Trevor Lawrence looks comfortable, Liam Coen has the offense humming, and the Jaguars keep taking the ball away. PFT did not merely say Jacksonville is good. He started looking at the AFC playoff bracket like a man who had discovered a secret passage.
PFT CommenterThe Jaguars have the best path to home-field advantage
In all the divisions, I would say that the Jags probably have the best inside track to getting home-field advantage.
That quickly escalated into Super Bowl territory. The only objection was Big Cat asking everyone to picture the Jaguars walking into Kansas City in January, which is a very effective way to ruin a nice thought. Still, Jacksonville has gone from preseason punchline to a team nobody wants to see in December.
Max's Philadelphia Sports Emergency
The Rams came back to beat the Eagles 24-20, turning a game Max expected to lose quietly into another emotional ambush. Philadelphia had a ten-point lead, then stopped scoring, stopped converting third downs, and lost more players to injury. Max spent the afternoon in silence, apologized to the Raising Cane's ball pit, and briefly considered retiring from sports before realizing that would probably cost him his job.
MaxThe Eagles will get boat-raced in London
No one's playing next week. We're gonna get absolutely boat-raced in London.
Max's prediction for London was not subtle. The Eagles are heading overseas with a roster that increasingly resembles a preseason depth chart, and the offense has now gone ice cold in too many second halves. Big Cat tried to talk up the Rams, which led Max to issue the most concise scouting report imaginable.
MaxThe Rams stink
The Rams are problem. They stink.
The Rams may not stink, but they did have Puka Nacua back, Kyren Williams catching everything, and Matthew Stafford finding ways to make the game uncomfortable. Max is going to need a sports-free hour before the next Eagles kickoff. Possibly two.
Ben Johnson Has Three Quarterbacks and Zero Fear
The Bears dominated the Jets 23-12 while running 89 plays to New York's 32. Chicago got 34 first downs, Kyle Monangai ran like a bowling ball with a personal grudge, and Ben Johnson somehow won with a third different quarterback in four weeks. Tyson Bagent was not perfect, but the defense and running game gave him enough cover to operate.
Big CatBen Johnson is on a god level
Ben Johnson now we're four weeks in the season, he has won a football game with three different quarterbacks. He's, this is why I would do anything for the guy. This is why I would die for him. This is why I think he's on God level.
Memes looked across the sideline at Aaron Glenn and saw the exact opposite coaching trajectory. The Jets were pushed around, could not stay on the field, and had their best interception erased by a penalty. New York now has a four-game window to prove this is not heading toward a full reset.
The Chargers Are Beyond Repair
Seattle got its groove back, Justin Herbert threw one of the worst interceptions anyone could remember, and the Chargers lost another pile of important players. The first two offensive snaps were interceptions, one by Herbert and one by Sam Darnold, which felt less like football and more like both teams trying to return the game unopened.
Big CatThe Chargers are the NFL's most broken team
Chargers are the most broken team in the NFL.
Max then gave Herbert the diagnosis that will live forever: he is a big stupid pick guy. Herbert can make spectacular throws, but the Chargers are currently asking him to survive behind a battered line while the entire organization catches fire around him.
MaxJustin Herbert is a big stupid pick guy
He's a big stupid pick guy. He makes some cool throws, but at the expense of some big stupid picks and a lot of big stupid picks.
The only truly stable thing in the Chargers broadcast was a halftime corgi race. Banana won, turned around to admire the field, and briefly became the most successful football entity in Los Angeles.
Bryce Young Has Entered the Chat
The Panthers beat Detroit 32-26 in a Sunday night shootout, and Bryce Young looked completely unbothered by the quarterback who had been shellshocked by pressure for the past two seasons. He stepped into hits, threw with confidence, and kept finding answers while the Lions' injured defense made everyone look like a fantasy cheat code.
Big CatBryce Young is really good
Bryce Young is, he's good, man. He's like really good.
Big Cat had already ridden the Bryce Young yardage ladder, so this was not a casual compliment. This was a full public conversion. PFT, naturally, warned that the Shuckster's Monday night debut may include ugly throws before the inevitable supernova balls arrive. The Panthers may not be a finished team, but Young suddenly looks like a quarterback worth watching again.
Who's Back, Who's Getting Fired, and Who's Avoiding the Army
The MLB playoffs supplied the closing chaos. Hank and Big Cat argued that Milwaukee got robbed by the roof and its cables, then Big Cat decided the Brewers have team of destiny energy and are winning the World Series.
Big CatThe Brewers are going to win the World Series
I'm not saying this is a jinx or anything. The Brewers are gonna win the World Series. They're, they have team of Destiny vibes.
PFT's soccer entry was the USMNT after another win over Mexico, delivered with the usual combination of optimism and immediate skepticism. Tony Romo was also declared not permanently banished from television, even if the No. 1 booth may no longer be waiting for him.
Zac finished with the best life-changing golf update: Tom Kim won the Asia Games gold medal and avoided two years of mandatory military service. No military for Tom. That is a much better prize than a commemorative jacket.
The show ended with numbers, birthdays, and a brief Florida football clip that made everyone regret asking for one more segment. The Brewers have destiny, Bryce Young has believers, and Max has London on the calendar. Good luck to everybody.
