Paul Pabst 06/13/2016

Sidney Crosby is on the Mount Rushmore of hockey with Gretzky, Howe, and Ovechkin

If we're talking like the goat mount rushmore you got to go gordy how... you got to go gretzky you got to go ovechkin you got to go crosby it's easy

Every person on the ice for the Stanley Cup celebration should be required to wear skates

I don't like the fact that they roll out a carpet onto the ice. I feel like if you're going to be celebrating something on the ice, it needs to be done by only people wearing ice skates. So like the guys in the tuxes, the girl that comes out to sing the national anthem, they all need to be wearing ice skates. Like respect the sport a little bit.

Hockey is better than basketball because the games are more competitive

The NBA was blowouts everywhere, okay? Most of [the hockey] scores are either one goals or two goals. That's not a blowout. Hockey's better than basketball.

Draymond Green missed LeBron James' testicles because LeBron is on steroids

Draymond threw a punch directly into the groin and didn't make contact with LeBron James' nuts... steroids, common side effect, shrink the testicles. making them harder to hit, harder to locate. So I think that the fact that Draymond... didn't make contact... that is a major red flag. And if I'm Adam Silver, I'm personally walking a piss cup into the Cavaliers' locker room and making LeBron James urinate into it.

The Ducks will play the Capitals in the 2018 Stanley Cup Final

I've got the Ducks and the Capitals. Ducks and Caps. And Ovechkin's not on the team anymore, by the way. Ovechkin's on the Ducks.

The Oilers will play the Panthers in the 2018 Stanley Cup Final

I got the Oilers because they probably have – they're going to somehow figure out a way to get like six more first-round picks between now and 2018. And the Florida Panthers.

The 1996 Bulls would beat the modern Warriors

I'd be shocked if the Warriors won it. I just look at the defensive matchups... Dennis Rodman is going to just, I think, negate Draymond Green. And then you bring in – when you have Scottie Pippen, who would look forward to covering these guys.

Steph Curry's low-top shoes are sleek and the safest shoes to wear to avoid getting robbed

I like Steph Curry's shoes. I'm here to say that they're sleek... there's no chance that a teenager will ever hit me with 'what are those' if I'm wearing the Steph Curry Lowe's... You also probably won't get knocked out and have your shoes stolen from you, which is also a plus... wear the Steph Currys, be the safest guy in the world.

People should be fired for being bad at Twitter

I hope that this happens more in the future. Just people get fired because they suck at Twitter, not because they say anything offensive or because they break a law or anything, just because they suck at the platform.