Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The 2026 Thanksgiving Day schedule is the best single day of football ever

Wednesday night is the Packers versus the Rams. Then Thursday, Thanksgiving day is Bears, lions, Eagles, Cowboys, chiefs bills. That will be great. Like the day of Thanksgiving? Yeah. That's the best day of football I think maybe ever.

The Jets in Week 16 are a layup win for the Patriots

We get the, the Jets, which is a nice, like layup week 16 leading into the Broncos and the Dolphins. So we got like kinda two easy wins and then a tough challenge week 17.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. I'd like to say congratulations to the abs. Pretty good bet to the abs. Pretty good. It's a pretty good bet if you, if you're a betting man, which I am. Congrats to the abs. You did it.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.

Pittsburgh fleeced Boston in the gorilla trade

I think Boston got fleeced. Frankie got traded, 7-year-old. Frankie got traded to the Boston Zoo. He's going to just be chilling with a bunch of other dudes. Little Joe got traded to Pittsburgh because he's going to be mating and making new gorilla. Pittsburgh's the one that's gonna be making more gorillas. You guys are do everything all wrong. They're, they're making a gorilla factory in Pittsburgh.

Little Joe the gorilla forced a trade out of Boston to Pittsburgh

I see from little Joe's perspective, he probably forced this trade. Like little Joe probably demanded a trade so he could go somewhere and start to fuck again. You're getting rid of a locker room case. He's had some issues, some, some character concerns and distraction issues.

James Harden is still a prime candidate for a massive playoff collapse

Last night with Mitchell not playing well, all the points off of turnovers, which again, he was, he was guilty of. But look, I just have a super hard time with the way he's officiated. It gets so bad with him that I'm like, well I expect there's gonna be some kind of 30 point game. Yeah. I mean he's got the ball in his hands the entire time. But at the end when he needed the free throws, it's like he missed two of the last four. 'cause it—that tells me there's just something about him.

The Spurs benefited more from a tough first-round series than the Thunder

I feel like San Antonio needed to be challenged more than OKC did. I think San Antonio needed to learn some stuff about themselves that they weren't gonna learn in the Portland series for their first time ever going through it. So even though it's gonna go longer than maybe you'd expect, I, I think there's a benefit to it for them because all of this is just like still new.

The Washington Wizards will be a top 8 seed in the Eastern Conference in 2027

We made a bet that the wizards are gonna finish, I think in the top eight next year. And now this is assuming that ad sticks around, which I think he is. And it's assuming that they keep the number one pick. I think that they're gonna be a top eight seed in the east next year.

Peterson is a significantly better NBA prospect than Banso

I feel like it's—I I just wouldn't, I don't know anything, but I'm, I'm just telling you like I don't, Peterson is so much better than Banso when they played against each other. And if you don't believe me, gni, who's really good on this stuff, like he had a clip that came out this week where he just goes, Hey, I've watched him play like eight to 10 times in person. I've never once thought Banso was better than him.

Chicago is the best city in the U.S. to find an attractive, approachable partner

I'm telling you right now, Chicago is the most attractive slash approachable, fair sex of any major city in the United States. And I'm telling you right now, like you don't have to deal with the northeast thing. You don't have to deal with the Southern... you don't have to deal with the southern California thing. Midwest values, Midwest sensibilities and girls that are cute that you can actually talk to.

A blood alcohol content between 0.04 and 0.06 is the peak for performance in precision sports

My hypothesis is that you have to be between like a 0.04 and a 0.06 and that's when you achieve like the best results. Like when you're playing beer pong or you're playing darts or you're playing a, a game like that, maybe even golf.

You shouldn't swing as hard as you can in 16-inch softball

It's a 16 inch softball. If you swing as hard as you can against a 16 inch softball, it will always—the entire roster had never played six unit softball before. And the first game, every guy get got up and tried to hit as hard as they could and they all popped out. And I was like, guys, six inch softball is not about swinging hard.