PMT DB
PMT DB
Scott Van Pelt on Masters Traditions, Scottie Scheffler’s Dominance, and NBA Playoff Seeding
The green jacket has been awarded, and while Sunday at Augusta didn't exactly provide the heart-stopping drama we usually crave, Scottie Scheffler officially cemented himself as the best golfer on the planet. Big Cat and PFT break down a weekend that felt like a coronation for a guy who apparently has his life more together than any 25-year-old in history.
Big CatEvery guy from Dallas looks like a 35-year-old accountant when they are only 25
He just reminds me of every dude I've ever met from the Dallas, Texas kind of area where it's like you're 25, but you look like you're 35 and you got married when you were 23 and you just got your shit together better. He looks like a medium good accountant that's pretty good at golf.
PFT noted that while the performance was dominant, it lacked the flair of some previous champions. Between the four-putt on 18 and the general lack of stress, it was a Masterclass in efficiency that might not live long in the memory banks.
PFT CommenterScottie Scheffler's Masters performance was legendary because it was so forgettable
What a legendary performance. We won't forget just because of it being so extremely forgettable. We'll always be like, you know what? This was the masters where Sunday was meaningless.
The guys were particularly heartbroken for Cam Smith, not just because of his 12th hole collapse, but because of what a win would have meant for the aesthetic of the Champions Dinner. PFT was ready to go all-in on an Australian accent for the next six months if the man with the most dangerous mullet in golf had pulled it off.
PFT CommenterCam Smith would be the coolest Masters winner because of the mullet and mustache combo
I really just have a soft spot for Australia... the mullet and the mustache combo. I'm pretty sure that like there's rules at Augusta National... if you show up wearing that, if it's, if you're not competing in a major tournament... they are allowed to shoot you. The security force at Augusta is allowed to put you down like a dog. He was, he was a fun guy to root for.
Then there was Max Homa. After the entire PMT community rallied for "Positive Vibes Only" to help Max make the cut, he rewarded that faith by putting up some truly questionable numbers over the weekend. Big Cat didn't hold back on the friend of the program after the Saturday and Sunday struggle sessions.
Big CatMax Homa should turn in his tour card after his performance at the Masters
We did positive vibes only, but now we can speak honestly, the way [Max Homa] played after he made the cut was disgusting. And he should probably turn in his tour card.
Scott Van Pelt Live From Augusta
Continuing the finest tradition in sports media, Scott Van Pelt joined the show from his car on the way to the airport to give the boots-on-the-ground perspective. The conversation quickly shifted from Scheffler's maturity to the true tragedy of the weekend: the lack of Big Texas cinnamon rolls in the airport vending machine.
Before letting him go, they revisited the ultimate golf hypothetical. Big Cat and PFT debated what an average Joe would actually shoot on the 18th at Augusta with the pressure of the world watching. PFT remains convinced that his short game with a flatstick is the great equalizer.
PFT CommenterI can hit an 8 or 9 on the 18th hole at Augusta using only a putter
I go putter off the deck off the tee box... then I just go putter the entire time I ended up hitting eight, maybe nine. If the pin's attackable, if it's center green, I think I could do it in eight. If it's back, right, that might be an eight or nine.
Big Cat was a bit more realistic about his own abilities, envisioning a scenario involving several trees, a few bunkers, and a complete mental collapse.
Big CatI would shoot a 13 on the 18th hole at Augusta if I was lucky
I think I'd go 13. I would, I documented I'd slice it into the woods. I would hit it into a tree... piece of shit, one good shot. Then I'd just go bunker, bunker, maybe like, like a, sorry, a sand wedge that I can't hit for shit for five yards. Then another one on then I'd put like five times 13.
Who's Back and the Gerrit Cole Roast
Baseball is officially back, which means it's time for the return of PFT's proprietary gambling algorithm. If you like making money and don't care about the feelings of Pirates fans, he has a very specific strategy for road games this season.
PFT CommenterBet against the Pittsburgh Pirates in every single road game this season to make money
My algorithm is thus, you just bet against the Pittsburgh Pirates every single game... we're going to bet on road games, every pirates team under and for the other team to win Moneyline against the pirates. And we're going to all make a bunch of money.
The Yankees also provided some early-season entertainment, specifically Gerrit Cole blaming a four-minute Opening Day delay for his rocky start. Big Cat thinks the pinstripes might be getting to the ace.
Big CatGerrit Cole is a loser for blaming a four-minute delay on a bad start
Garrett Cole said that the game being delayed four minutes was an unforeseen challenge for him. He said the festivities got a little away from the schedule... he's just a loser. Before he came to New York, everyone just assumed he was like the bad-ass dude... then he comes to New York and he's just, he's like sweaty. And he can't answer questions correctly.
PFT has a theory that this is all part of a larger phenomenon involving the New York grooming standards. He believes that forcing guys to shave their beards is essentially a reverse-Samson situation that saps their powers.
PFT CommenterThe 'Sampson Effect' causes players to perform worse when they join the Yankees and have to shave
If you have to cut your hair or shave to change your personal appearance, I bet it throws you off Sampson effect. I bet you it's almost every player that goes there... Randy Johnson shave his beard when he sucked, when he was in the eighties.
NBA Playoffs Are Set
The regular season is over, and the play-in matchups are officially locked. The guys looked ahead to the bracket, with Big Cat mourning the inevitable demise of the Bulls at the hands of Giannis and the Bucks.
Big CatThe Milwaukee Bucks will sweep the Chicago Bulls in the first round
The bucks are going to kill him. It's going to, I just want it to be over as fast as possible... the box are going to sweep the bowls and at least I know how to deal with Packers fans.
Hank is riding high on the Celtics' hot streak, even with a potential date with the Nets looming. He’s calling his shot for a deep run while PFT is looking at a star-studded matchup in the West.
PFT CommenterThe 2022 NBA Finals will be the Brooklyn Nets vs. the Golden State Warriors
I'm going to double dip. I'm going to go nets warriors... Meaning like the warriors are kind of, I'm treating them the same way I'm treated the nets, which is they're too good. They've got so much talent. They're going to figure it out.
Meanwhile, the pressure is squarely on Philadelphia. PFT is ready to crown Joel Embiid the MVP, but he's also ready to burn the whole thing down if the Sixers don't deliver in May and June.
PFT CommenterI'm officially voting Joel Embiid for MVP, but the season is a failure if the 76ers don't win the title
I'm just going to vote for [Embiid] with my vote... and say that if the Sixers don't win the title this year, it's a disappointment all for naught.
Big Cat agreed that Embiid is incredible, but he’s already eyeing the person most likely to receive the blame if things go south for Philly.
Big CatJames Harden will definitely mess up Joel Embiid's chance at a ring this season
James Harden will fuck this up for [Embiid] and Embiid, everyone's going to be like, Embiid is so good. Why? Like he deserves a ring. I've already seen that he deserves a ring. I don't know, it's going to be like trying to figure out who to blame between Harden and Doc Rivers.
Just remember, if the Nets beat the Celtics, Frank the Tank is getting ten minutes on the mic to laugh directly into Hank’s soul.
