Scottie Scheffler's Masters performance was legendary because it was so forgettable

What a legendary performance. We won't forget just because of it being so extremely forgettable. We'll always be like, you know what? This was the masters where Sunday was meaningless.

Every guy from Dallas looks like a 35-year-old accountant when they are only 25

He just reminds me of every dude I've ever met from the Dallas, Texas kind of area where it's like you're 25, but you look like you're 35 and you got married when you were 23 and you just got your shit together better. He looks like a medium good accountant that's pretty good at golf.

Cam Smith would be the coolest Masters winner because of the mullet and mustache combo

I really just have a soft spot for Australia... the mullet and the mustache combo. I'm pretty sure that like there's rules at Augusta National... if you show up wearing that, if it's, if you're not competing in a major tournament... they are allowed to shoot you. The security force at Augusta is allowed to put you down like a dog. He was, he was a fun guy to root for.

The 2026 Thanksgiving Day schedule is the best single day of football ever

Wednesday night is the Packers versus the Rams. Then Thursday, Thanksgiving day is Bears, lions, Eagles, Cowboys, chiefs bills. That will be great. Like the day of Thanksgiving? Yeah. That's the best day of football I think maybe ever.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. I'd like to say congratulations to the [Avs]. Pretty good bet to the [Avs]. Pretty good it's a pretty good bet if you, if you're a betting man, which I am. Congrats to the [Avs].

Pittsburgh fleeced Boston in the gorilla trade

I think Boston got fleeced. Frankie got traded, 7-year-old. Frankie got traded to the Boston Zoo. He's going to just be chilling with a bunch of other dudes. Little Joe got traded to Pittsburgh because he's going to be mating and making new gorilla. Pittsburgh's the one that's gonna be making more gorillas. You guys are do everything all wrong. They're, they're making a gorilla factory in Pittsburgh.