PMT DB
PMT DB
The 2024 Takie Awards: Winners, Losers, and Blake Of The Year
The most prestigious evening in sports media has returned. Big Cat and PFT Commenter donned the suits, the booth was looking like a collection of guys facing various legal hurdles, and the hardware was ready to be handed out. The 2024 Takies didn't just celebrate the year that was; they reminded us why we love the chaos of the sports world, from plane meltdowns to the incredible survival skills of Jimmy Carter.
The Year of Cold Takes and Hot Starts
We kicked things off with the Take of the Year, and Dan Orlovsky took home the gold for his legendary glaze of Mac Jones. Big Cat couldn't wrap his head around how anyone could watch Mac and think they were seeing the greatest rookie in history.
Big CatDan Orlovsky’s claim that Mac Jones was the best rookie QB ever is the Take of the Year
Dan Orlovsky incredible saying he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones at QB. Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football, and how to throw that football. 'Ever seen' is just something you should not—ever seen is crazy.
The guys also looked back at Troy Aikman’s 2019 attempt to gatekeep greatness from Patrick Mahomes. It turns out Mahomes moves a lot faster than Troy expected.
Big CatPatrick Mahomes has already reached 100% of Troy Aikman's Super Bowl success
Patrick Mahomes has thrown 36% of Troy Aikman's career touchdowns in about 8% of the games. And Troy Aikman quote, tweet that in 2019 and said, 'talk to me when he has 33% of my Super Bowl titles,' he [Mahomes] now has a hundred percent of his Super Bowl titles.
Death had a massive statistical year, led by OJ Simpson finally finding the real killer in the afterlife. The guys discussed the logistics of the 18-game season, with Big Cat pitching a roster management idea that would surely ruin every parlay in America.
Big CatThe NFL should implement a rule where players can only play 16 games in an 18-game season
18 game season, every player can only play a maximum of 16 games. I like it in theory because it just, it's chaos. It's a wrinkle, would be strategery would be awesome, but... I liked it at first and then I thought I definitely would get fucked because I'd bet a line on Monday and then they'd be like, 'this is the game we're throwing.'
Joes, Libs, and Lighthouses
Jersey Jerry was crowned Lib of the Year, a title he accepted with all the grace of a man being told his favorite union just went on strike. Meanwhile, Joe Buck stopped by to present Joe of the Year to Hank’s best friend, Joe Mazzulla. The guys also spent significant time trying to figure out why Jojo Siwa is famous, eventually pivoting to the hypnotic power of children's television.
PFT CommenterBluey is an actual drug for children
I had no idea what a drug Bluey was for kids. Oh yeah. But I had, there was a friend that came into town, their 5-year-old stay with us and the kid was like jumping all over... I turn on Bluey and it's like hypnotized. Bluey is a drug for kids. For sure.
In a move that surprised no one, the old Gillette Stadium lighthouse beat out the new "butt plug" version. Hank tried to defend the new structure, but PFT and Big Cat weren't hearing it. Hank is now officially on the clock to turn the Vanny Woodhead into something other than a stationary storage unit in a garage.
HankVanny Woodhead will be fully restored and on the road by Summer 2025
I will have a plan and I'm gonna 20, 25. That thing [Vanny Woodhead] will be on the road driving souped up... By next spring, summer... By June 9th, 2025.
The World of Professional Partnerships
After a year of legal threats and blood money, the PGA and LIV finally settled into a cozy, confusing relationship. PFT remains convinced that the distinction between the two is now purely cosmetic.
PFT CommenterThe LIV-PGA partnership means they are basically the same organization now
Their partnership is that they have an outline that they've agreed to. Oh. And an arrangement and a skeleton clause that they've put in. And it seems like, it seems like things are progressing. Wow. They're basically the same organization right now.
We also touched on the "Can't Win the Big One" Award. While Ryan Whitney presented it to Caitlin Clark to avoid offending his Canadian friends, the guys were quick to point out that Rory McIlroy might be entering the permanent "What If?" zone.
PFT CommenterRory McIlroy will never win another major
I don't think [Rory McIlroy] is ever gonna win a major. I don't think so either. He's gonna be one of those guys that you look back on and you're like, Colin Montgomery.
Preemptive Takes and The Nine-Peat
As the night wound down, everyone threw their hats into the ring for next year's honors. Memes predicted a Sixers collapse that leads to Joel Embiid wearing Knick blue, while the new guy, Huey, bet big on the WNBA's cultural dominance.
HewyWNBA Finals will be the third most-watched sport in the fall
The finals of the WNBA specifically will have the third most ratings in the fall. So behind college football and the NFL. There needs to be a third place. And WNBA finals will surpass the NBA opening, will surpass the NHL and it'll be the third most watched sport. It'll battle the World Series and it will be three.
MemesJoel Embiid will force a trade to the Knicks after the 76ers implode
The 76ers will implode with Paul George. And Joel Embiid will force himself to the Knicks.
Shane leaned into his Charger fandom, and PFT predicted the eventual downfall of Taylor Swift’s musical empire based on her own happiness.
PFT CommenterTaylor Swift and Travis Kelce will get engaged followed by a bad album
My preemptive take of the year is that Taylor Swift and Travis [Kelce] are going to get engaged. And then she's going to put out a terrible album. Because she's happy and she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about. And then all her fans are going to start to hate her because her music sucks because she's happy with her personal life.
ShaneGus Edwards will lead the NFL in rushing TDs and Ladd McConkey will win Rookie of the Year
Gus Edwards will lead the NFL in rushing touchdowns. Also [Ladd McConkey] will be Rookie of the Year. [Edwards] is on the Chargers.
Not to be outdone, Big Cat put his life on the line for Hank’s vertical leap, while Hank made a bet on the Patriots that feels like it was fueled by too much Dunkin' and pure delusion.
Big CatI'll bet my life that Hank will dunk
I believe Henry Lockwood is going to dunk. No, I actually 100% believe you're gonna dunk. Because you've been working out a lot. You've been training a lot.
HankThe Patriots will have more combined wins than the Bears and Commanders
My preemptive take of the year is that Drake Maye in New England [Patriots] are going to have more combined wins than the Washington football team and Chicago Bears.
Finally, Blake Of The Year came down to a high-speed Zoom battle. Blake Griffin reclaimed his throne in under ten seconds, leaving a devastated Blake Bortles in the Florida dust. To top it all off, the AWLs secured the nine-peat for Podcast Listeners of the Year.
It’s a dynasty that would make the 90s Bulls weep.
