PMT DB
PMT DB
Matthew Fitzpatrick on the US Open, NBA Draft, and Mount Rushmore of Low-Key Gay Things
The NBA Draft is in the books and Big Cat is already planning the parade in Detroit. While the rest of the world is focused on Paolo Banchero going number one, the real story for the Detroit faithful is Jaden Ivey falling right into their laps at five. Pairing him with Cade Cunningham has Big Cat ready to declare the rebuild officially over.
Big CatThe Detroit Pistons are back
The Detroit Pistons are back... the main takeaway, I know this sounds crazy to say, but Jaden Ivey falling to five... Jaden Ivey and Cade Cunningham. They're building. You fuck with that. Because let's build. It's that's why Jaden Ivey going to the Detroit, the Pistons are back.
PFT isn't quite as high on the top of the board, specifically looking at the situation in Orlando. While Banchero has the pedigree, the Magic have a long way to go before they're relevant in the Eastern Conference.
PFT CommenterThe Orlando Magic are five years away from being any good
Paolo Banchero, he went first overall. Credit to coach K for going out on a high note right there. I can never really tell with some of these players, like you go to a team like Orlando, that's just dog shit. To me, they're like probably five years away from being any good.
Jake also chimed in with a scorched-earth take on the Duke blue bloods entering the league. After watching them fall to UNC in Coach K’s final home game and the Final Four, Jake has seen enough to know how their pro careers will go.
Jake MarshAll Duke players from the 2022 draft will be busts
All the Duke guys are going to be a bust. They can't win when it matters most because they lose when all the pressures on them... they did lose in the Final Four. They did send out their Hall of Fame coach out with a loss.
US Open Champion Matthew Fitzpatrick
Fresh off his win at Brookline, Matthew Fitzpatrick joined the show to discuss the bunker shot on 18 that secured his legacy. He admitted that he and his caddy, Billy Foster, actually disagreed on the club selection for the tee shot on 18, but it all worked out for a historic par. Fitzpatrick noted that having won the US Amateur at the same course in 2013 gave him a level of comfort that most of the field lacked.
Matthew FitzpatrickFamiliarity with Brookline was a massive advantage in the US Open
[Knowing the course] Massive. Yeah. I just feel like, because I had success there before I just felt, I did feel like really confident throughout the whole week. I just felt I was so comfortable where I needed to go... There wasn't one shot out there that I felt intimidated by.
Big Cat was mostly interested in the fact that Fitzpatrick ruined his son's third birthday by beating Will Zalatoris, but he eventually forgave him once the trophy was in the room. They touched on the "stack" system Fitzpatrick used to add 30 yards to his drive and how he celebrated the win as a notorious lightweight.
Mount Rushmore of Straight Things that are Low-Key Gay
Joey and Pat from the Out and About podcast joined the show for one of the most unhinged Mount Rushmores in the history of the program. The prompt was "straight things that are low-key gay," and the guys absolutely understood the assignment. Big Cat didn't hesitate to put the most basic human solo activity on the board immediately.
Big CatJerking off is low-key gay
One, one is jerking off so easily. You're literally touching... Constantly touching it... Looking at it. Caressing it... You look forward to it.
Not to be outdone, Hank went for the institutional pick, highlighting the pageantry and "costumes" found in the Sunday pews.
HankThe Catholic Church is low-key gay
We're going to go with the Catholic church... The drama, the costumes, the pageantry of it all. Super theater. They wear dresses, they're spraying water, there's smokes going on, there's candlelight, singalongs. Pageantry of it all.
Pat and Joey brought the heat with picks ranging from sharing beds on vacation to the specific way guys interact with their own "musk" after a long day. Pat specifically pointed out that the economics of a bachelor party can lead to some very cozy sleeping arrangements.
PatSharing a bed on vacation with friends is low-key gay
It's sharing a bed on vacation. 10 guys in a room trying to save money and Cancun or Daytona beach all cozy it up in the same bed. I was on a bachelor party in Vermont. I was sitting in a hot tub with six of my friends and we were like, this is kind of gay.
Big Cat wrapped up the draft by looking at the gridiron. He pointed out that while the pro-style offense is considered the "manly" way to play, the actual mechanics of a quarterback taking a snap involve a level of intimacy that doesn't get discussed enough on NFL Live.
Big CatA quarterback taking snaps under center is low-key gay
Our next pick is a quarterback under center... Pro-style offense. What does that mean? Putting his hands in you basically. The ass. Tom Brady has a very specific way that he likes his center's ass to be... he makes the center put a specific type of towel like in his ass cheeks.
Stanley Cup and Fyre Fest
The Colorado Avalanche are one win away from lifting the Cup, and PFT is fully ready to declare the Lightning's reign over. Despite Vasilevskiy standing on his head, the speed of Colorado looks like too much for a Tampa team that has played a massive amount of hockey over the last three years.
PFT CommenterThe Avalanche vs Lightning series is over; the Cup is in the building
I'm pretty excited for my Avalanche bet. I'm feeling comfortable about it because this does feel like a game seven now... This is game seven for the Lightning. And it's a game two for the Avalanche... Are we sure the Lightning are good? Are, do they just have Vasilevskiy... The Avalanche just look like the far fresher, far faster [team].
To wrap things up, Fyre Fest of the week featured Jake beating Hank at golf by six strokes despite Jake losing his sand wedge midway through the round. Big Cat, ever the optimist about his own game, realized that he probably doesn't need a full bag anyway.
Big CatI would be just as good at golf with only three clubs
I don't think that I would be significantly worse at golf if I only had a driver, a seven iron and a putter. I don't think I would shave any strokes off my game by incorporating irons three through six.
If you see Big Cat on the course with just a driver, a 7-iron, and a putter, just know he’s playing the efficiency game.
