Mike White could win a game for the Jets against anyone off the bench

Mike White could win you a game on the New York Jets. I don't care who he's playing against, I don't care. He could come off the bench in the first quarter and Mike White has that ability to just somehow throw for three touchdowns for the Jets.

I might bet the Chargers to win the Super Bowl because Jim Harbaugh makes players harder to break

I might put a little something on the Chargers just because not to win the AFC West, but to maybe just win the Super Bowl because Harbaugh, the guy just does things like this... Friday was a key step in the team getting good at making yourself harder to break.

Jason Tatum's All-Star MVP trophy tattoo is negative 5,000 aura

To me this just calls into question his aura even further. Negative 5,000 Aura. How's getting a tattoo of force? Because he likes All Star MVPs then. That's also a terrible trophy.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?