Tom Brady leaving the Patriots is heartbreaking but I am mostly reminiscing about the championships

It was heartbreaking but it was more of like I kind of agree with reminisced. I was reminiscing More than I was crying in my Cheerios. . . You can never take away like the six championships.

The Chicago Bears will pursue every available quarterback and somehow end up with none of them

The Bears are going to be in on every single quarter back out there and somehow get none of them and completely demolish what little is left of Mitchell Trubisky's confidence to the point where what you'll be gone now.

Bill O'Brien is a sleeper agent for Bill Belichick designed to implode AFC teams

I remain convinced this day that Bill O'Brien is a sleeper agent for Bill Belichick as are all of his former assistant coaches that go out across the country take jobs usually in the AFC implode teams and then come back to ensure the Patriots and get to the Super Bowl faster.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?