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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Marlins Man is likely joining Donald Trump's legal defense team because top firms are rejecting him.

My theory is that I think that Lawrence Levy, Marlins Man, is joining the Donald Trump dream team because Trump can't get any more lawyers to represent him. He's been rejected by like five or six of the top law firms. Marlins Man's probably number seven or number eight. And if I was in a tough spot and I needed somebody on my side to just like harass my opponent until they got so annoyed... I'm going to Marlins Man probably first.

Marlins Man never joined Trump's legal team.

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Loss
May 11, 2018
#11642
HankHank

The Celtics have a 60% chance of beating LeBron James and running him out of Cleveland for the second time.

I said it when the Celtics signed Kyrie that if they can run LeBron out of Cleveland in the beginning of his career and then run it out at the end, it would be the sweetest thing in the world... I put the percentage at 60%.

The Cavaliers defeated the Celtics in 7 games to win the ECF.
Push
May 11, 2018
#11643
Big CatBig Cat

The Cavaliers will win the Eastern Conference Finals in six games.

I think it's going to be 4-1. Cavs in six. Gentlemen sweep in six. I think the Celtics will win one of the first two. I think they'll win game five, and then they will lose in Cleveland in game six. That is my prediction.

The series went to 7 games, so Big Cat was wrong about the duration, though right about the winner.
Void
May 11, 2018
#23610
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A Winnipeg vs. Tampa Bay Stanley Cup Final would be the NHL's worst nightmare for ratings.

That sound you hear is Gary Bettman shitting his pants in anticipation of a Winnipeg-Tampa Stanley Cup Finals.

The 2018 Finals ended up being Vegas vs. Washington, so the NHL avoided this specific 'nightmare' scenario.

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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Maxx Crosby to the Ravens is a great move that makes their defense scary

Congrats to the Ravens. Congrats to Jesse Minter. This is a good, a great move. Their defense is gonna be scary. I love the transition from Maxx Crosby was always meant to be playing in a badass uniform. Raiders to Ravens, it's like, okay.

The trade is real and the Ravens defense is historically elite.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

It's a satirical take on the Cowboys' lack of action in free agency/trades.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kyler Murray's next team will reveal whether he actually cares about football

I think where Kyler decides to go is going to be very interesting. Yeah. Because no, no matter where he goes, I think we'll be able to say some very definitive statements about Kyler that might, might be wrong, but we'll definitely say them. If he goes to the Jets, it's like, oh, Kyler wanted to take a paycheck. Right. And he still doesn't care about football. Right.

Kyler Murray's reputation for 'not caring' is a long-standing trope that would likely be applied to a paycheck-driven move.

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