Hard Knocks stinks

Hard Knocks stinks. There's nothing that can turn around a bad episode of Hard Knocks like watching it with a cool dog... The ending was, I had to like check myself because they had the dramatic rainstorm and Liev Schreiber was doing some unbelievable speech, and then I was like, wait, they lost in a preseason game to the Cardinals by three points. What are we doing here?

Dak Prescott is probably going to miss the whole year with his shoulder injury

They can't show it [on Hard Knocks] because they don't want to tell us that [Dak Prescott's] shoulder's fucked up and he's probably going to miss the whole year.

John Mara is the driving force behind the NFL's new 'anti-fun' taunting penalty

Co-owner John Mara was the driving force behind the new taunting penalty in the NFL... It's honestly stupid... Mr. Mara, he is the man. He is the machine that needs to be raged against. He looks like when you die, if you still have a boss, that's what he looks like.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?