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HankHank

I will shave my head if the Celtics win a championship

I will shave my head if the Celtics win a championship. stop it. Like, oh, that was the perm bet you knew in the back of your head... No, I give you my word that I will shave my head if the Sellies win a championship.

The Celtics won the 2024 NBA Championship, and Hank eventually shaved his head on a live stream.

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Void
Jun 12, 2024
#13434
Big CatBig Cat

Joey Chestnut's ban from the Nathan's contest is a sign of the late stages of the American empire

Joey Chestnut has been banned from the Nathan's hot dog eating competition on July 4th in America is at its knees. It's the end of it. It feels like the late stages of an empire. This is the sign.

While metaphorically a 'disaster' for fans, Joey Chestnut did eventually face a major career shift by leaving the Nathan's contest, though the American empire remains intact.
Win
Jun 12, 2024
#13436
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Joey Chestnut is the best eater of all time in the history of the world

Everybody eats. Joey Chestnut is the best person, the best eater of all time in the history of the world. He needs to be rich for that fact.

In the world of competitive eating, Chestnut holds almost every major record, making this a widely accepted take in that niche.
Loss
Jun 12, 2024
#13439
Big CatBig Cat

Joey Chestnut should be a billionaire

What does Joey Chestnut, what does Jeff Bezos do better than Joey Chestnut? Not a lot. What does Elon Musk do better than Joey Chestnut? Like, I want Joey Chestnut to be so rich that he can do whatever he wants.

Economically, he is not and will likely never be a billionaire. This is a satirical value judgment.

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HankHank

Fanatics and Nike failed American fans by not producing enough USA hockey jerseys after the gold medal win

My Hot Seat: Fanatics and Nike... They thought that Canada was gonna win the gold, so they just did not make enough USA jerseys. And so by the time USA won the gold, they were already sold out. It's disgusting. Drop the ball.

The inventory levels are fact-verifiable; if they were sold out immediately, the claim is correct.
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HankHank

Heat 2 will be a 'disgusting' (great) film starring Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio

My Cool Throne: Heat 2. Christian Bale. Leonardo DiCaprio. Disgusting film. Hell yes. I trust Jake Hamilton. He reported it. Christian Bale, Leo DiCaprio, Heat 2. I'm in. Awesome.

Casting rumors for Heat 2 are ongoing; if the film releases with these stars, it would be correct.
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HankHank

Wendy's is having a 'rebuilding year' in fast food

Wendy's is to close hundreds of restaurants in 2026. And what interim CEO Ken Cook calls a rebuilding year. ... They're tanking for draft picks. Trust the process.

OpinionBusinessMediumSarcastic
The stores are literally closing as reported.