Stetson Bennett is a future Hall of Famer

First, right off the top. Stetson Bennett, future Hall of Famer. Yeah. He looks good.

Justin Fields is officially 'the guy' and I am hate-bookmarking all slander against him

I am at the point now where there's a line in the sand. Is he the guy? Justin Fields is the guy. I've started hate bookmarking Justin Fields slander to come back to it later. He could play a perfect game and people would still nitpick him. Three for three, 129 yards, two touchdowns. The Bears look fucking awesome.

The female orgasm is a myth created by 'Big Orgasm'

The female orgasm. Not real. Big orgasm has been lying to you guys. Girls don't come. They just do it because they like to make us feel bad for coming too quick. Exactly... let's be honest, let's get real honest here. That shit's not real.

I love the DJ Moore trade for the Bears because it clears cap space for Max Crosby or Tyler Linderbaum

I love this trade because you clear up money. [DJ Moore's] got a big pretty hefty contract so you clear up money to maybe go get a Max Crosby or a Linderbaum. You get a pick and you make the bet that Luther Burden and Rome Odunze are gonna be taking leaps forward.

DJ Moore would not have had a 1,000-yard season if he stayed in the Bears' offense

He could have a thousand yards [with the Bills] and be like, wow. How, how could you trade him? He wouldn't have had a thousand yards in this Bear's offense.

Malik Willis is the #1 free agent backup quarterback

Top quarterback free agents... Is it also Malik Willis? Malik Willis is, yes. So he's number one. Malik Willis one.