Mason Rudolph is a terrible quarterback and not the guy in Pittsburgh

I wanted to start the show by saying Mason Rudolph has a huge fucking face and is a terrible quarterback and is not the guy in Pittsburgh. And he's the classic quarterback where every time he drops back if you're a Steelers fan or you bet on the Steelers, you're like, oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck only bad things can happen.

Carmelo Anthony has been a hipster his entire career

I'm actually thinking his entire career Carmelo has been a hipster. Yeah. He dropped out of college. I went to go chill in Denver for a while got real high tried to go to New York because that's where all the Arts and stuff are happened... his greatest accomplishments all happen when he was traveling abroad.

Derek Carr is close to keeping his job long-term in Las Vegas

I've actually think Derek Carr is very close to keeping his job in his house next to Jon Gruden in Las Vegas.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?