Trading Anthony Rizzo and Chris Bryant is the correct business move but emotionally crushing for Cubs fans

There's the business side of baseball, which I fully understand. And then there's the sentimental, your heart, the guys you root for the guys you love. I understand the baseball side of it because they need to trade guys when they don't know if they're going to be here at the end of the year, and you've got to rebuild, but goddamn does it suck.

Dodgers fans don't deserve Max Scherzer and Trea Turner because they haven't endured the bad times

You get jealous when they go and they put on another man's uniform and they were playing for another team and you see the other fans starting to root for them. And you're like, no, no, that's my guy. I feel like I'm getting cucked by another fan base. Like the entire city LA getting Trea Turner and Max Scherzer, it's a bad feeling, but I feel like they don't deserve them yet. They didn't go through the bad times of those guys.

Cade Cunningham's veganism is a major red flag for his NBA durability

I am concerned with Cade Cunningham though... it's because he's vegan. If you're a vegan going into the NBA, Jalen Green's 180 pounds, he will probably be able to put on another like 20. And Cade Cunningham's probably gonna lose weight over the course of his career. You can't trust a man made of the plant proteins. That's his durability and his mentality.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?