Trading Anthony Rizzo and Chris Bryant is the correct business move but emotionally crushing for Cubs fans

There's the business side of baseball, which I fully understand. And then there's the sentimental, your heart, the guys you root for the guys you love. I understand the baseball side of it because they need to trade guys when they don't know if they're going to be here at the end of the year, and you've got to rebuild, but goddamn does it suck.

Dodgers fans don't deserve Max Scherzer and Trea Turner because they haven't endured the bad times

You get jealous when they go and they put on another man's uniform and they were playing for another team and you see the other fans starting to root for them. And you're like, no, no, that's my guy. I feel like I'm getting cucked by another fan base. Like the entire city LA getting Trea Turner and Max Scherzer, it's a bad feeling, but I feel like they don't deserve them yet. They didn't go through the bad times of those guys.

Jalen Green will be a great NBA player based solely on his draft night suit

Jalen Green's going to be a great NBA player. Just look at his suit. And I was like, yup, Perk, thank you. This is the analysis. Like I don't give a fuck about you showing me a few highlight teams and being like, he comps out to this guy because similar to the prospects in baseball, none of us know. So yeah, if it's going to be like, 'Hey, this guy wearing a cool suit or not,' that's actually the analysis.

Cade Cunningham's veganism is a major red flag for his NBA durability

I am concerned with Cade Cunningham though... it's because he's vegan. If you're a vegan going into the NBA, Jalen Green's 180 pounds, he will probably be able to put on another like 20. And Cade Cunningham's probably gonna lose weight over the course of his career. You can't trust a man made of the plant proteins. That's his durability and his mentality.

Jalen Suggs falling to the Magic at pick five was the steal of the NBA Draft

I do think Jalen Suggs is really fucking good. So that was a steal for the [Magic].

The Lakers getting Russell Westbrook will work because LeBron James will make him fall in line

If you look at it as like it's LeBron's team, it's LeBron city, it's LeBron's everything he will make Russell Westbrook fall in line and that, and itself should work.

Russell Westbrook cares too much to ever be LeBron James' 'Robin'

I love Russell Westbrook. I think he cares so much that he's going to be the one that gets pissed off at LeBron... I don't know if he's going to be able to like work in a system where he's very clearly supposed to be the Robin because he's a dog.

Nations should exclusively use identical twins for synchronized diving to gain a scoring advantage

Get identical twins to be doing the synchronized diving. I feel like that's an absolute no brainer. If your country has identical twins, put them into synchronized diving program as early as you possibly can, because they're going to have such a leg up. Even if they're off a little bit, their physical similarities are going to cover that up a lot.

Synchronized diving should award more points if nations add more people to the team

I think you should be able to, like, you should get more points if you can add people. So like, if you can do a 10 person synchronized or diving... why two? Why are we stopping it to make it fucking 3, 4, 5? So then it's like, all right, you can be perfect with two or you can be 95% with seven. That guy, that team should win.

I am officially opting out of all Simone Biles discourse

I'm opting out of all discussion about Simone Biles simply because there's like, it's one of those discussions where it is either all the way on this side or all the way on that side and there's literally no nuance or actual discussion being had. As soon as you see it happen and people start screaming at each other, no one's actually having a conversation. So I've opted out of all Simone Biles discussion because no one is actually trying to change each other's minds.

Running sucks at every level and racing is the only enjoyable part of the sport

At any level running still sucks... I wish I was going to darts or literally anything else besides the running, but unfortunately this is what I'm stuck with... the only fun part about running is actually like racing.

'Runner's high' is a myth people use to trick others into thinking running doesn't suck

I honestly don't know what the hell and people are talking about when they say that [runner's high]. I've never experienced it... I think it's just runners trying to convince other people that running doesn't suck.

The mile world record set in the 1990s was likely fueled by heavy steroid use

The mile world record is three minutes and 44 seconds. The dude with the mile world record right now is so juiced up and liked the 1990s that drug testing—I mean, no one dopes anymore, but this dude was just literally coursing with steroids.