The Celtics are a way better team than the Mavericks

The Celtics are up two. Oh, congratulations Hank. Thank you. Your team is so much better than the Mavs. Yeah, they are. They are a way better team. It's great, great team win. It's not even really close.

Kyrie Irving has gotten too mature and needs to 'get weird' to break his slump

Somebody needs to like snap Kyrie [Irving] out of this. 'Cause we've been talking, we've been glazing Kyrie a lot, these playoffs talking about how mature he is gotten... Has Kyrie gotten too mature? Yeah. Is a question we should be asking. I want to hear like the Kyrie hatred for Boston.

The NBA Finals are already over after Game 2

What you need to transition your brain to, because this, this series, the Celtics are just better. Yeah, no, this is over. I'm over.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?