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HankHank

The Boston Celtics are a complete dumpster fire

Celtics are a complete dumpster fire. I don't really have any championship spin zones. I don't really have any optimistic to say about them. I'm kind of just hoping that it's like one of those things where they're just going through the motions in the regular season.

The 2018-19 Celtics are widely considered a failure; they were eliminated in the second round and Kyrie Irving left shortly after.

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Mar 1, 2019
#21468
Big CatBig Cat

Bryce Harper probably demanded his $330M contract be paid entirely via Cash Card

I bet you that Bryce Harper has a cash card. I bet you he demanded his entire contract to be paid in the cash card. Do you know why? Because $330 million is cool. But you know what's really cool is having the cash card from the Cash App.

Bryce Harper was not paid via a Cash App debit card; he was paid in US dollars through standard payroll and bonuses.
Win
Mar 1, 2019
#15671
Big CatBig Cat

Kyler Murray is officially draftable on my board because he measured at 5'10"

So 5'10", I like him now. He is draftable. He moved up my big board. He is still undraftable for John Elway, like eight inches too short. John Elway even said that. He was like, yeah, he's... You can't get him under center.

Kyler Murray was drafted #1 overall, proving he was indeed draftable, though Big Cat was speaking about his own arbitrary line.
Loss
Mar 1, 2019
#15672
Big CatBig Cat

Jason Witten's return to the NFL is a genius move to save his broadcasting legacy

What Jason Witten has just pulled off... with the one year of broadcasting that he did. And he was bad. He was very bad. He is now going back to the NFL, and now he can forever be the guy where, well, he never got his second year, so we don't know. The jury's still out on whether or not Jason Witten is bad, and history will be kind to him and not mock him.

Witten is widely remembered as a poor broadcaster on MNF despite his return to the field, so history was not as kind as Big Cat predicted.

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HankHank

Fanatics and Nike failed American fans by not producing enough USA hockey jerseys after the gold medal win

My Hot Seat: Fanatics and Nike... They thought that Canada was gonna win the gold, so they just did not make enough USA jerseys. And so by the time USA won the gold, they were already sold out. It's disgusting. Drop the ball.

The inventory levels are fact-verifiable; if they were sold out immediately, the claim is correct.
Open
HankHank

Heat 2 will be a 'disgusting' (great) film starring Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio

My Cool Throne: Heat 2. Christian Bale. Leonardo DiCaprio. Disgusting film. Hell yes. I trust Jake Hamilton. He reported it. Christian Bale, Leo DiCaprio, Heat 2. I'm in. Awesome.

Casting rumors for Heat 2 are ongoing; if the film releases with these stars, it would be correct.
Void
HankHank

Jacob Bridgeman's wife is wrong; he is a better golfer than he is a person

Jacob Bridgeman... there was a clip on PGA tour posted from his wife that said he is a better person than he is a golfer. Not true. Not true, dude. You just won a PGA Tour tournament... You're a top 50 golfer alive right now. You're not top 50 human beings. Sorry buddy.

This is a subjective, comedic judgment of value.

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