The Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship because of the Taylor Swift curse

Every NBA team that made it to the semi-finals this year has had a Taylor Swift Eras tour stop through their city, and they've all been eliminated. The Denver Nuggets had Taylor Swift perform there... The Miami Heat is the only team that has not had Taylor Swift perform in their city. So if you're a Swifty, you know that that means that Miami is going to win these championship.

Erik Spoelstra is the best coach in the NBA

The [Miami Heat] are a really fucking good team. And Spo is the best. Yeah. He is the best coach.

Getting a hole-in-one is the best thing a man can do

It's like the best thing that a man can do. Yeah. Is get a Hole in one.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?