The only consistent teams you can trust in the NFL are the Eagles and the Patriots

The only two consistents are the Patriots and the Eagles. So the only two teams at this point in the season where you can confidently say I would trust those teams.

Kirk Cousins earns $7 million for every half-decent throw

Kirk Cousins makes himself about $7 million for every half-decent throw that he has in a game. So he'll suck for a good three quarters, and then he'll have two good intermediate passes, and you're like, okay, yeah, somebody's going to pay him $25 million next year.

The Giants have officially quit on the season

The Giants have officially quit. That team does not give a fuck. No. And they're doing the old, like, no one wants to tackle anyone. They're basically playing, the rest of the season for the Giants is basically the Pro Bowl for them.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?