Matt Ryan is the most Indiana-looking person in history

He's the most Indiana looking person maybe ever. There's perfect. Like you created a video game character and you stopped halfway through because you didn't really care how much detail you wanted to put on his face.

The middle class of NFL quarterbacks is being wiped out

To be a quarterback, never a better time to be a quarterback. If you're an elite quarterback kind of a shitty time to be a quarterback. If you're a 'yeah, but' guy... like Baker Mayfield, where does he go? Does Jordan Love ever get a starting shot? Like Jimmy G... th that second, third, fourth tier of guys, it feels like they basically get a couple shots. And then it's like, all right, we're moving on.

NFL quarterbacks should beg to be traded to the NFC to avoid the AFC gauntlet

This realignment to me also feels like when the west, for the first time in a long time, got really good in the NBA... The AFC just continues to stack up quarterbacks. If I were an NFL player, I would want to play in the NFC right now. I'm a quarterback. It's like, send me to the NFC. I've got Aaron Rodgers, who's got probably a couple more years, and then he's done... but as far as the NFC goes, it's like wide open.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?