The Jets are exactly what we thought they were, a 7-9 team

The Jets are exactly what we thought they were like a seven and nine team. You want to crown their asses? They're 7-9. I think that's actually a pretty realistic expectation for them.

The Cleveland Browns will make the playoffs

Welcome to being a winner Cleveland. I say the Cleveland Browns are going to make the playoffs.

You cannot win a championship with Jimmy Butler as your number one guy

I would not want to pay [Jimmy Butler] a max deal right now. I don't think that you can win a championship with Jimmy Butler as your one or one a guy.

There is a 90% chance I will sell $1,000,000 in Zillion Beers merch by Sunday

[What percent chance do you think you have to make a million?] A zillion? Yeah. Actually, 90%.

Spitting in your own pee stream is a sign of dominance

Number one, spitting in your pee stream is a sign of dominance... once it hits the stream you're in for a good day. Target practice. It's like going skeet shooting.