Historic NFL franchises should not use alternate helmets because they look 'candy ass'

The bears unveiled their new helmets. It's now cool for every team. ... that doesn't mean every team needs to do a alternate helmet and the bears kind of were the first team to show up and be like, oh yeah, not every team needs to do this. ... historic franchises should just keep with their regular helmets because there's no reason we're... we're not the Jaguars. ... It's Mickey mouse. It's it's it's candy ass.

The Bears and Commanders Thursday night game will be a low-scoring, boring affair with multiple coaching and kicking errors

it is gonna be against the commanders and the greatest Thursday night game that this podcast has ever seen. ... I feel like that is a vibe where it's like the coach [Eberflus], he's gonna lose two challenges. The wind is gonna blow the ball off the kicking tee at least twice in the course of the game. ... It's gonna be one of those that basically has a running clock the entire time, because both teams are just gonna run the ball and nothing exciting is gonna happen.

There should be extra enthusiasm for Aaron Judge hitting 62 home runs because it is the post-steroid era

Aaron judge has been mashing race to 62. I want everyone to get involved in that because it does look, I'm a, I'm a pro steroids guy. So I, I definitely think Barry Bond's the best player of all time. And I also think his records stand, but there should be like an extra enthusiasm. If someone can hit 62, just knowing that we're not in the steroid era anymore.

I hate acting and am bad at it, and it's ironic that people keep offering me roles precisely because I tell them not to cast me

I only care about comedy. Right? You gotta force me to act. ... I'm saying this right now. And every time I say it, I get offered another gig. I don't like acting right. I'm bad at it, but they keep offering shit. ... It was like literally the director [of White Men Can't Jump] almost didn't put me in it. And I was like, why? He was like, well, I listen to brilliant idiots. And you specifically said, don't cast me. I'll ruin your movie.

The reason people are so outraged today is because they are waiting too long to have kids

I think part of like the, everybody being outraged about things is we're waiting too long to have kids. ... because there is like, once you have kids, the little things, the little things do not bother you as much. ... I don't have time for that. I just want my kid to be like a good kid.

If my special is successful, it will force major streaming services to stop giving notes to comedians

Let's just teach these streamers that like, you know, people like funny jokes and it doesn't matter if they're messed up... if this is successful, they can't give comics and notes anymore. ... because you can't compete.