The Celtics are a way better team than the Mavericks

The Celtics are up two. Oh, congratulations Hank. Thank you. Your team is so much better than the Mavs. Yeah, they are. They are a way better team. It's great, great team win. It's not even really close.

Kyrie Irving has gotten too mature and needs to 'get weird' to break his slump

Somebody needs to like snap Kyrie [Irving] out of this. 'Cause we've been talking, we've been glazing Kyrie a lot, these playoffs talking about how mature he is gotten... Has Kyrie gotten too mature? Yeah. Is a question we should be asking. I want to hear like the Kyrie hatred for Boston.

The NBA Finals are already over after Game 2

What you need to transition your brain to, because this, this series, the Celtics are just better. Yeah, no, this is over. I'm over.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

The Sixers are a bad team that loses every game Joel Embiid doesn't play

The Sixers suck. The Sixers are a bad team. Embiid's not playing. They lose—the Sixers are back to losing every game that Embiid doesn't play.

My 'dinner simulator' habit of building food orders and not buying them is a sign of good self-control

Instead of going and making myself a snack or making myself food or ordering food, I'll just pull up the apps, Uber Eats... and I'll just like put together an order of what I would order if I were to get something. And then I clear my cart and I go to bed... It's really good self-control.