Kirk Cousins will eventually break everyone's heart

I'm not ready to crown Kirk Cousins. I think he's still going to break everyone's heart. It's going to happen eventually. Of course.

The Washington Nationals are a team of destiny

The Washington Nationals. We said it on Wednesday. It rings true today. They are a team of destiny. Big time.

You don't need a bullpen in baseball; you can just use starting pitchers

I also think it'd be hilarious if the Nationals somehow stumbled their way in ass backwards to figuring out that you don't actually need a bullpen in baseball. You can just put your starting pitchers in to be your bullpen the entire time. And you don't actually need three days rest or four days rest.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?