Saquon Barkley is currently the best running back in the NFL

We've got Saquon Barkley, the best running back in the league. And then we have our good friend Lane Johnson with Cam Jurgens talking a little o-line with the boys.

Jerry Jones is in a senile old phase of his ownership

Jerry Jones is he, he just keeps taking shots. Like I said, we, we, we talked about this like a month ago, that he is in that senile old phase where he's just saying shit and you're like, I really wish you wouldn't say that Thanksgiving table uncle shit.

The Cowboys should trade Micah Parsons for two first-round picks

They should just trade 'em because the Cowboys are not a Super Bowl team right now. And if you don't want to pay him, trade him. He is guaranteed two first rounders. Is there gonna be a guy in the next two drafts that's gonna be better than Micah Parsons? I don't think so.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

The Sixers are a bad team that loses every game Joel Embiid doesn't play

The Sixers suck. The Sixers are a bad team. Embiid's not playing. They lose—the Sixers are back to losing every game that Embiid doesn't play.

My 'dinner simulator' habit of building food orders and not buying them is a sign of good self-control

Instead of going and making myself a snack or making myself food or ordering food, I'll just pull up the apps, Uber Eats... and I'll just like put together an order of what I would order if I were to get something. And then I clear my cart and I go to bed... It's really good self-control.