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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Arnold Palmer umbrella logo exists because Palmer saw a woman getting out of a car with an umbrella and got horny

Arnold Palmer stood up and then he looked outside. He saw a really hot chick getting out of the car and she had an umbrella and he's like, 'fellas, I've got it: umbrellas. We gotta do umbrellas.' So he just got horny. He got horny for a chick he happened to see and he's like, 'we're doing umbrellas.'

Fact ClaimGolfHotSarcastic
The real story involves Palmer and his business partner seeing an umbrella on a rainy day, but the 'horny' detail is likely a classic PFT embellishment.

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Win
Mar 9, 2026
#29855
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Maxx Crosby to the Ravens is a great move that makes their defense scary

Congrats to the Ravens. Congrats to Jesse Minter. This is a good, a great move. Their defense is gonna be scary. I love the transition from Maxx Crosby was always meant to be playing in a badass uniform. Raiders to Ravens, it's like, okay.

The trade is real and the Ravens defense is historically elite.
Void
Mar 9, 2026
#29856
Big CatBig Cat

The Ravens are abandoning their draft-and-develop philosophy because they've drafted poorly lately

The Ravens feel like the team for however long, I mean, pretty much their entire history, it's like what they do is they draft really well. They don't have to do these type of moves. And then they do this move... maybe the Ravens haven't drafted as well recently. So now they do have to join everyone else and be these guys.

Subjective analysis of team building strategy.
Open
Mar 9, 2026
#29870
Big CatBig Cat

The Ravens have a three-to-four-year window with Lamar Jackson to go all in and win a Super Bowl

Are the Ravens basically saying Lamar Jackson, he's 29, he's got, we got like a three, four year window where we're gonna have to go all in here? You're kind of forking the road. Are you trying to keep your draft capital to keep reloading around Lamar Jackson? You're like, 'Hey, let's go win this right now.'

The Ravens' success in this window depends on winning a Super Bowl before Lamar Jackson hits his 30s.

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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Maxx Crosby to the Ravens is a great move that makes their defense scary

Congrats to the Ravens. Congrats to Jesse Minter. This is a good, a great move. Their defense is gonna be scary. I love the transition from Maxx Crosby was always meant to be playing in a badass uniform. Raiders to Ravens, it's like, okay.

The trade is real and the Ravens defense is historically elite.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

It's a satirical take on the Cowboys' lack of action in free agency/trades.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kyler Murray's next team will reveal whether he actually cares about football

I think where Kyler decides to go is going to be very interesting. Yeah. Because no, no matter where he goes, I think we'll be able to say some very definitive statements about Kyler that might, might be wrong, but we'll definitely say them. If he goes to the Jets, it's like, oh, Kyler wanted to take a paycheck. Right. And he still doesn't care about football. Right.

Kyler Murray's reputation for 'not caring' is a long-standing trope that would likely be applied to a paycheck-driven move.

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