Albert Pujols shouldn't be in the All-Star game because he 'fucking sucks'

People getting mad about Albert Pujols being in the home run Derby, which is a crock of shit. But I'm also at the point in my life where I, cause he fucking sucks. He can't even walk. He shouldn't be in the all-stars. He made the all star game... and Albert Pujols is taking a spot away from someone who could [hit home runs].

MLB might rig the Home Run Derby for Albert Pujols by giving him 'good balls'

I do think there's a pretty good chance that they might rig it for Albert Pujols. He might get the good balls.

People want to tear down Adam Schefter's legacy because they hate winning

The other thing is always in life when someone has success and when someone wins, people want to tear him down. He's making reportedly $9 million a year. He gets every scoop. He has every contact. People hate that people hate winning. They want to tear down winners. They want to tear down Adam Schefter's legacy.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?