I wanted the Patriots to win another Super Bowl now because Tom Brady's window is closing

I would say the Patriots just because Brady's window is closing. So the more he can get in before he retires, the better.

The Anthony Davis trade to the Lakers is basically done because LaVar Ball is talking again

LeVar comes out of the rock he was under, silent for the last six months, now saying he wants Lonzo to go to Phoenix... that just tells me the trade's been done because LeVar knows he no longer has to worry about LeBron paying him his hush money.

The Bitcoin exchange CEO who reportedly died with the passwords is not actually dead

There's no way he's dead, right? There hasn't been a good fake death in a while... He is living it high with, he's probably fucking whales with John McAfee in wherever the hell they are.

The Ravens are using Maxx Crosby's failed physical as a convenient excuse to back out of the trade

Either one, [the Ravens] really trust the doctor to believe them on that or two, it's bullshit and it's made up and they're secretly planning a different move and they're using the physical as an excuse to get out of it.

The Raiders' short statement indicates Mark Davis is furious about the rescinded trade

The statement that the Raiders put out said a lot, which is just like 'they backed out of the trade. We have no further comment.' That to me sounds like a pissed off Mark Davis.

The NFL's two-day 'legal tampering' window is a dangerous gift for GMs with buyer's remorse

This two day period is so weird because something like this can happen and then nothing that has been reported over the last day actually has to happen. Right. Nothing's final yet.