The Chargers won the Eli Manning trade once and for all because the Giants are 0-5

Odell Beckham, more like 0-5, Odell Beckham. The Giants remain winless, and the Chargers win the Eli Manning-Philip Rivers trade once and for all.

The Eagles have no possible way to screw up this winning season

Philadelphia's got their blue-collar quarterback and a winning team. There is no possible way they can screw this one up, folks.

Offensive line coaches should be recreational cocaine users to stay amped for the job

I don't have a problem with an offensive line coach just doing a little recreational blow as long as it's on the job. If you use it just to get amped up before a meeting, what's the difference between that and just banging a monster?

Duke is the best team in the country and it would be an all-time failure if they don't win the title

This is the best team in the country. It would be an all time epic failure if Duke doesn't win the national title. They are the first time I believe that a team has reached plus 40 in Ken Palm since 1999. Duke... This team has it all.

Duke not winning the national title would be the most consequential sports story of all time

I think it would be the biggest sports story of all time. If Duke did not win the national title this year. All time. I think all time story... Duke not winning at all this year would be the biggest, the most consequential sports story of all time. Not our lifetimes of all time.

Arizona's Tommy Lloyd is a candidate to choke in March because he is a Mark Few disciple

Tommy Lloyd being a Mark Few disciple, even though Arizona is really, really, really good. Yeah. I'm just like, that guy's getting choke in March.