I am not worried about Tom Brady leaving the Patriots

I'm absolutely not worried. I'm not even letting myself get worried for a second... I still think he's going to end up a Patriot. I'm not letting myself even consider that a possibility.

Andy Dalton is a better quarterback than Jimmy Garoppolo

I was going to say Andy Dalton greater than Jimmy G... If they [the Patriots] had Andy Dalton, they probably would be winning as well.

Taysom Hill is the bacon of the NFL

Taysom Hill is like, he's like bacon, right? Bacon makes some dishes better, you would say... Then when you get to the 2010 internet guy who's like epic bacon wins, I'm going to make bacon flavored ice cream... you're like, no, actually bacon kind of sucks... Taysom Hill is the bacon of the NFL.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?