The New England Patriots are dead (but they're still going to win the division)

The New England Patriots are dead. Actually, they're still going to win the division, but it's times like this I thank my lucky stars I'm not a New England Patriots fan.

Thin Andy Reid might be better than Bill Belichick

Thin Andy Reid—maybe all the fat was the dumb stuff that made him call timeouts at inopportune times. Thin Andy Reid might be better than Bill Belichick. Two and one. The Chiefs are two and one under Andy Reid against the Patriots.

Patrick Mahomes' presence has taught Alex Smith how to throw the long ball

Alex Smith, out of nowhere, showed that he can throw that long ball tonight. Pat Mahomes is like when you have an old male dog that has always pissed putting its hips down at the ground... and when you bring a new pup in that lifts its leg on something, your old dog's like, holy shit, that looks cool. Mahomes is a young pup that's taught Alex Smith to lift his leg.

NFL Sundays feel like they are hitting the air brakes when the schedule drops from eight early games to only three late games

With the postponement of the Buccaneers-Dolphins game, we now have eight games early... and three games in the 4 o'clock Eastern hour, and it just feels like you're hitting the air brakes. It just feels like you're going from, you know, 100 to school zone.