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Big CatBig Cat

You cannot get pregnant in a jacuzzi and pre-cum always results in a soccer player

Can't get pregnant in a jacuzzi. Pre-cum is a soccer player. All these are facts. These are just stone cold facts.

Fact ClaimLifeScorchingSarcastic
These are comedic lies.

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Win
Apr 3, 2019
#7643
Big CatBig Cat

The AAF died exactly like the XFL did

This is what we warned you about. This is exactly what happened with the XFL. It just died. And we all got excited. And then it died.

The AAF did indeed collapse mid-season in 2019, much like the original 2001 XFL (though XFL finished one season).
Push
Apr 3, 2019
#7645
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tom Dundon only bought the AAF to acquire its gambling technology

Albert Breer said that the speculation was that [Tom] Dundon bought the league just to get access to their gambling app that they were building. So $70 million for a gambling app seems like a shrewd investment.

While rumored, Dundon has denied this was the sole reason, but the tech was a key asset in the liquidation.
Push
Apr 3, 2019
#25103
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Alliance of American Football failed because they didn't have an 'L' for League in their name

That was the biggest, actually, problem, is they didn't have an L. Yeah. And you know what? Two vowels at the start of your league? Yes. Listen, these are things that we could have solved.

The league did indeed fail, though the name was likely not the primary cause.

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Big CatBig Cat

Miami of Ohio 100% deserves to be in the NCAA Tournament despite their first-round loss

I think a hundred percent they should be in. We need to just focus on the fact that there, I believe 31 and one and not do anything about strength of schedule. If you're able to go an entire season without losing a game that's hard to just wake up every day and not stumble once. I wanna see what happens when they play their first quad win one game in the middle of March.

This is part of the satirical 'Future' bit; Miami of Ohio was not 31-1 in 2026 (or 2024).
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Conference tournaments are bad for top teams because they don't improve your seeding and lead to unnecessary fatigue

I'm kind of done with the conference tournaments. Like they just fuck you. It doesn't make your seed better and you end up being more tired today. If you have to play four games, you're just gonna get screwed.

The value of conference tournaments for high-seeded teams is a perennial debate in sports media.
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Kyler Murray will be the next Sam Darnold now that he's with the Vikings

Kyler Murray is a Viking. We all kind of expected it. It happened. He's going to be the next Sam Darnold. The NFC North now has three number one picks at quarterback with Kyler Murray, Caleb Williams, Jared Goff. Kind of cool.

Kyler Murray did not sign with the Vikings; this is part of the episode bit.

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