Jason Garrett is the dumbest person alive for playing his starters in Week 17

Jason Garrett wins the Are You the Dumbest Person Alive Award for playing all his starters because he desperately – now, I don't know what you think, but I think it was clear that Jason Garrett wanted to win 10 games so that when Jerry Jones goes to his office next year and is like, hey, I'm thinking about firing you, he's like, but I won 10 games.

The rest of the AFC North should be terrified of the Browns in 2019

By the way, if I'm in the AFC North next year, I'm terrified [of the] Browns. That's the big thing. I don't care who their coach is as long as his name isn't Hue [Jackson].

Mike McCarthy will be the next head coach of the Cleveland Browns

It's going to be Mike McCarthy. Yeah. He's interviewing them, I think, tomorrow. Oh, and he's got it. Yeah. It's just a formality.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.