Auston Matthews' 4-goal debut is suspicious and requires a 'witch hunt'
Auston Matthews... He had three goals on his first three shots in the NHL. He actually had four goals on the night in his debut... Hmm. Interesting. Maybe a frozen envelope. I'm just saying maybe these bullies just, hey, yo, we'll let [Auston] score. Hmm. Interesting.
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View episodeThe Dodgers are a weaker team than the Nationals
The Dodgers are coming to Wrigley Field. I do think the Dodgers are a weaker of the two teams. Slash, I didn't want to see Daniel Murphy again.
I want the Cubs to keep winning just to keep Big Cat in a state of 'happiness edging' without winning the World Series
I want the Cubs to keep winning. I don't want the Cubs to win the World Series, but it's not because I want to see you in pain. I like it when you're this happy. I just want it to keep extending and extending. But I just don't want to see you ever reach that goal. You need to edge for about nine more months until spring training.
Mike McCoy is the most generic-looking white dude who probably goes to Jimmy Buffett concerts
Mike McCoy is the most generic-ass looking white dude. He's a guy that your dad plays golf with... McCoy just looks like a guy that spends too much time in the sun and has eight Salt Life shirts and goes to a Jimmy Buffett concert every fall, and that's his one vacation for the kids.
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View profileThe Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem
I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.
The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins
What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.
Jalen Warren is a top-five running back
Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.