It's my constitutional duty to be drunk when attending presidential debates

I feel like it's my constitutional duty to be drunk when I'm attending these things like presidential debates. If I'm interviewing Ben Carson about baby Hitler, if I'm talking to Donald Trump about whether or not he's a Muslim because he doesn't drink, I'm very serious about that.

I'm taking Matt Harvey's man card for getting a bladder infection

Apparently he had a bladder infection, which right off the bat, I'm taking his man card for that because I did not know that guys could get bladder infections. I thought that was only a woman thing. I know that sounds ignorant. But that's kind of what the man cards for is like when you feel scared by your own ignorance, you just got to take the man card.

Matt Harvey's bladder infection story will lead to an uptick in SAT scores

What are the long-term ramifications of a big news story about a major league pitcher that doesn't pee enough? And I thought, well, this upcoming SAT season, you're probably going to see a big uptick in the overall scores on SATs because there are going to be a lot more guys that are going to be like, hey, I have to go pee and then go cheat in the bathroom.

Josh Allen is playing quarterback on easy mode

We're a Josh Allen podcast. People sometimes get upset about how much we glaze him. I don't think we glaze him enough because he's playing quarterback on easy mode. It looks like that for him. The flick of the wrist, the runs, everything—it all looks like the game is slowed down for him. He's in just total control of the game.

Week 1 underdogs that failed to cover are a 70% ATS trend in Week 2

Teams that failed to cover the spread in Week 1 and enter Week 2 as underdogs have gone 26-11-2 against the spread since 2014. Seventy percent.

The Bears will beat the Vikings, but they won't score 59 again

I think the Bears are gonna win. I do not think they're gonna score 59 points. I do think they're gonna win.