The Celtics are effectively the NBA champions now that the Nuggets have been eliminated

Congratulations to Hank. Boston Celtics are NBA Champs. Because the nuggets are out. The only real competition that they had.

The formula for the Timberwolves to win is for Anthony Edwards to not score at all in the first half

When [Anthony Edwards] is held below five points in the first half of the game, the timber wolves are seven and one this season. ... So he just gotta not score, just have him not score at all in the first half and then you're good.

The Timberwolves are for real after beating the Nuggets in Denver

I couldn't be more impressed with, with the wolves. This series was just, it was the anti Minnesota series... they win the game somewhat convincingly. 'cause they were up 10 with like three minutes left and it was over in, in the Nuggets building. They win three games in Denver. I mean, what a what a what a performance. They're they're for real.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.