The eyeball test tells me that DK Metcalf is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass

DK Metcalf is the fastest human being alive... [PFT: He's very fast but he's not faster than Usain Bolt]. I think he might be. The eyeball test tells me that DK is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass. It's terrifying how fast he is.

The Seahawks are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now because no matter the situation, things are going to get weird

The Seahawks are just insane... they are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now where no matter what the situation is, you're like, 'It's gonna get weird.' If they're up by ten, shit's going to get weird. They're down by 10, shit's going to get weird.

The Falcons genuinely invent new ways to lose a football game every single week

We have joked that the Falcons invent new ways to lose every single week. It is not a joke. The fact that they lost the game by Todd Gurley his momentum taking him into the end zone... It is incredible that they lost that way. If Todd Gurley just goes down, they win that game.

Travis Hunter Should Win the Heisman

We should probably bet Travis Hunter for Heisman, because he almost flipped this game himself.

The Browns' Plan Is to Drown You Late

Their game plan is thus: drag you into deep water and then have Deshaun Watson in the fourth quarter drown you. That's what they do.

The Colts Need to Blow Everything Up

If you're a Colts fan, you have to demand for everything to change. You can't be like, it's because of Daniel Jones' Achilles. You've gotta just blow the whole thing up. It's like none of it works.