The eyeball test tells me that DK Metcalf is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass

DK Metcalf is the fastest human being alive... [PFT: He's very fast but he's not faster than Usain Bolt]. I think he might be. The eyeball test tells me that DK is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass. It's terrifying how fast he is.

The Seahawks are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now because no matter the situation, things are going to get weird

The Seahawks are just insane... they are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now where no matter what the situation is, you're like, 'It's gonna get weird.' If they're up by ten, shit's going to get weird. They're down by 10, shit's going to get weird.

Win probability stats are bullshit and shouldn't be trusted

I think win probability is bullshit. Computers and robots will never beat us for this simple fact: They actually think that the Falcons have a 98% chance of winning a game that we know as human beings, that's not true. Computers don't do stereotypes... For the Falcons there should be a cap on it.

Travis Hunter Should Win the Heisman

We should probably bet Travis Hunter for Heisman, because he almost flipped this game himself.

The Browns' Plan Is to Drown You Late

Their game plan is thus: drag you into deep water and then have Deshaun Watson in the fourth quarter drown you. That's what they do.

The Colts Need to Blow Everything Up

If you're a Colts fan, you have to demand for everything to change. You can't be like, it's because of Daniel Jones' Achilles. You've gotta just blow the whole thing up. It's like none of it works.