Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

Josh Allen is playing quarterback on easy mode

We're a Josh Allen podcast. People sometimes get upset about how much we glaze him. I don't think we glaze him enough because he's playing quarterback on easy mode. It looks like that for him. The flick of the wrist, the runs, everything—it all looks like the game is slowed down for him. He's in just total control of the game.

Week 1 underdogs that failed to cover are a 70% ATS trend in Week 2

Teams that failed to cover the spread in Week 1 and enter Week 2 as underdogs have gone 26-11-2 against the spread since 2014. Seventy percent.

The Bears will beat the Vikings, but they won't score 59 again

I think the Bears are gonna win. I do not think they're gonna score 59 points. I do think they're gonna win.