Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

There will not be a Major League Baseball season next year because of the CBA negotiations

Next up, we're just not gonna have baseball next year. ... In its next CBA, the league is proposing a max contract. The length of five years for free agent players switching teams, six years to retain their own players. No deferred contracts. ... It just feels like we're so far away. I don't know.

The WNBA should be doing more to protect Caitlin Clark as their cash cow

They are though. Like it is kind of crazy that they aren't like they should be protecting her. Their cash cow a little bit. ... I mean she does make them the most amount of money.

To have a great sports league, you need a couple of dominant dynasties rather than total parity every year

Adam Silver saying the goal over time has been, and I've said it to be more NFL like where you believe your team has a shot. ... he also likes the parity, which I, I can't like parity is fun to a point. But dynasties are what get people, you know, upset and passionate. Like dynasties are, you know, teams of the decade and all that stuff. So you can't have just a new winner every single year. You need a couple dynasties.