Ovechkin breaking the goal record from his office against the Islanders was the perfect way to end the chase

It was awesome to see him score from his office against the Islanders... Ovie was like, 'fuck it, I know it's at home [and I don't want an empty netter]'. He did it perfectly. That shot has been happening for 20 years. Nobody's ever figured out how to stop it. He did it from his office.

Blackhawks owner Jerry Reinsdorf is a piece of shit

I've been watching all the games illegally this year. Good for you. I have a workaround that I'm, I will not tell, but I have a workaround that I've been watching the games illegally because [Jerry Reinsdorf] is such a piece of shit. Yeah. I don't wanna give him money. He sucks.

Alex Ovechkin's mom is terrifying and could definitely beat me up

His mom, I'm terrified of Ovie's mom by the way. I think she could beat the fuck outta me. Probably, yeah.

The intentional-grounding penalty was the right play

I actually think he had, that's an OC problem because there was no underneath route. If he throws that deep and, like, everyone had—it just was a shit show. He couldn't throw it deep because he was basically getting chased. If he takes a sack, everyone has to come back. It probably is more than 10 seconds to get the next play. So that one, I had no problem.

The Colts needed a complete reset after Chris Ballard's firing

Chris Ballard was there for 10 years, never won an AFC South. You finally just—it's inexcusable. The Andrew Luck retirement is probably what bought Chris Ballard a lot more years. He basically could just keep on saying, 'Well, our plans were screwed up because Andrew Luck retired.'

The NBA should start on Christmas Day and play 60 games

The NBA should start on Christmas day. It should be a 60-game schedule. It'd be so much better.