Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

NHL goalies should be pulled from the ice with at least four minutes remaining

I think the goalie should have been pulled with like six minutes left in the period... no, I think they just like four and a half... I think you pull the goalie super early... it should definitely be more than one minute 45 seconds.

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

Cristiano Ronaldo is an absolute bum

But yeah, Ronaldo's, I mean, he's an absolute bum. I think we can all agree, right? Zach?

Jaylen Brown is the best or second best player on every team in the NBA.

It is insane that anyone would say that [Jaylen Brown] is the seventh best player on an NBA team. He's gonna be the best or second best player depending on what team you pick. I don't think you can pick a team that you'd be the, I actually don't think you could pick a team that you'd be the third best.

Baker Mayfield will have a bounce-back year

Baker's gonna have a bounce back year. He's not injured anymore. You get healthy. Play fast. Play good.