Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

The Conn Smythe Trophy is the cruelest gift you can give a player who just lost the Stanley Cup

Fuck off on giving me that trophy after I just had my guts ripped out and was on the brink of a historical, historical comeback... why would you want to accept it? It's cool that he won it. He was the best player in these playoffs. He broke all these records, but fuck off on giving me that trophy... I would say it's probably the meanest gift you can give to somebody.

LeBron James going to the Golden State Warriors would be a pathetic move

That's such bullshit by the way. Like if we got mad at Kevin Durant for going to Golden State, this would be pathetic. Pathetic.

The USMNT match against Bosnia and Herzegovina is an absolute must-win

It's a definitely a must win... we are, I believe for the first time ever in the history of US soccer were favored in a knockout round game... if we lose against Bosnia and Herzegovina, that is, it's, it's a disaster.

The USMNT will beat Bosnia and Herzegovina 3-0 or 3-1

I think we win. I think it might be like three to one, three to nothing.