Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

The Conn Smythe Trophy is the cruelest gift you can give a player who just lost the Stanley Cup

Fuck off on giving me that trophy after I just had my guts ripped out and was on the brink of a historical, historical comeback... why would you want to accept it? It's cool that he won it. He was the best player in these playoffs. He broke all these records, but fuck off on giving me that trophy... I would say it's probably the meanest gift you can give to somebody.

LSU can win the national championship

With the way that Sam Leavitt played, you have to imagine they are definitely a team that can win the national championship.

Traditions should stop when a team is getting blown out

I'm at the point now where I think the Badgers have to stop Jump Around until we start winning games. Because when you jump around and you're down 20, it's not fun. That's not a fun thing to do. You just need to have time and place with some of these things.

Jameis Winston should be the first call for a quarterback replacement

Jameis right now should be the first call that anybody makes if they have a starter, a non-Tua starter, that they need. Actually, think about that, Big Cat—Jameis on the Falcons. That would be cool.