Gambling on which celebrities or athletes will test positive for coronavirus should be a new sport.
They should let us start betting on these things. They should let us start betting on who tested positive and that will be its own sport... It's basically like watching reality television like Big Brother with celebrities and then the gamble is who will stay coronavirus free.
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View episodeTaking deferred money like Bobby Bonilla is a better deal than a lump sum payment.
Bobby Bonilla has an awesome contract... the more MLB TV rights deals start to come in, the more you're seeing players push off and say, 'yeah, I'll take some deferred money coming down the line.' It's a good deal. It's like when that scratch-off Millions for life or whatever it is... I would absolutely take a deal like that instead of giving me all the money straight up.
I would rather take $1 million a year for 25 years than $20 million upfront because I would spend the lump sum on jet skis.
If you were to say like, PFT, I'm going to give you either twenty million dollars on your 25th birthday or I'm going to give you a million dollars a year until you're 50, I'm absolutely taking the million until 50. Because if I'm 25, I'm just going to spend it like Billy Football would—just a shitload of jet skis, essentially just my own jet ski farm.
Deferred generational contracts like $50k a year for 75 years would just make your grandkids lazy pieces of shit.
What if you just got like fifty thousand dollars a year for the next like however long it be 75 years... all that would be ensuring is that your grandchildren are going to be like the laziest pieces of shit ever because they'll be like, 'I get my four thousand dollars a year coming in every July 1st. I don't need to get a job.'
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View profileThe goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible
What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.
The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer
People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.
We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay
My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.