The Ravens are still frauds despite their win over the Browns

I've been hard on the Ravens. I still think they're frauds. But what I've always said is I want to see Lamar [Jackson] come back late. And he did that last night. Yeah. So you have to give them credit for that. You can't be a hater when that happens.

Cody Parkey will miss a big kick in a playoff game and ruin the Browns' season

Cody Parkey will fuck you in the face. If the Browns make the playoffs, there is no sure bet in the entire world, then Cody Parkey doing this to the Browns. I'm nervous about Cody Parkey. I think he's going to fuck us. Cody Parkey will miss the big kick in a playoff game for the Browns and the Browns will have no one to blame but themselves.

Losing a bet on a safety or scoregami play is a better story than a standard loss

If you had like a unit on it, it's not even that bad because that's a story that you can tell. I'd rather lose on that play and be like, 'Oh man, I can't believe I had the under in Raiders Colts.' This is a great story you can tell. I took the Browns to cover on that Monday night football game where Lamar Jackson spent half the time getting rid of the Chipotle that was in his anus.

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.