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Void
Nov 16, 2020
#12121
Big CatBig Cat

God is the Browns' best offensive coordinator

If you're a Browns fan, you're sitting here on Monday and being like, I think God is a Browns fan now. Because God, who decides the weather obviously, keeps doing the worst possible weather in Cleveland on game days and forcing the Browns to run the football. God is literally your best offensive coordinator. He's saying, do not throw it a million times. Run the rock.

Subjective claim about divine intervention helping a football team's play-calling.

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Loss
Nov 16, 2020
#12117
Big CatBig Cat

The Ravens are frauds

Week 10 in the books. The Ravens are frauds. Confirmed.

The Ravens finished 11-5 and won a playoff game against the Titans, though they were eventually eliminated by the Bills, proving they weren't complete frauds.
Loss
Nov 16, 2020
#12120
HankHank

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs. And I still think that.

The Patriots finished the season 7-9 and missed the playoffs.
Void
Nov 16, 2020
#12122
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chiefs, Lions, Falcons, and Chargers are the funnest teams to watch because of the inevitable chaos

I would put like the Chiefs, the Lions, the Falcons, and the Chargers as like the funnest teams to watch in the NFL, knowing that some crazy shit's going to happen. Like a 21-point lead [blowing it]. Some sort of heartbreak occur to the Lions franchise.

Entertainment value is subjective.

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Void
Jul 17, 2026·Mt. Rushmore
#30966
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30948
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30949
Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.