I need to become less fun than my son's toys so he stops waking me up in the middle of the night
Last night [my son] got up at one in the morning... he was just sitting next to my bed, wasn't saying anything, just sitting there. I caught him the other day doing this at three in the morning... slowly opening the door with his hands like a ninja. I need to become less fun than his toys. He has toys in there and he's like, 'I'd rather hang out with dad' at 1:00 in the morning.
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View episodeThe NFL Divisional Round is the best weekend on the football calendar
The NFL divisional round, which in my estimation is the best weekend in the NFL schedule... getting a ticket to that memorable spot, like a Final Four spot, feels so huge for the team, the fan base, everything. And you get four matchups. All these games feel like they're gonna be great games, tight games.
Lane Johnson is healthy enough to lift a 325-pound man and his groin is fantastic
Lane Johnson I've heard is just, I heard that he lifted a 325-pound man off the ground today. And that his groin is just fantastic... [his] leg, thigh, groin, area is better than expected.
Jalen Hurts is only 82-85% healthy heading into the Divisional Round
That's my analysis. I've seen some throws of practice this week. I'm giving [Jalen Hurts] 82 to... I'm giving 85%.
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View profilePigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash
Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.
Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear
I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.
American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors
I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.